The casino owner didn't want to talk to this washed-out black woman. But she brought in some old white musicians and she said, "my group is called Tina Turner Overdrive." The owner

The tree hummed and I listened to the soft melodic notes falling from the brown crusted branches. Each leaf made a note as it hit the ground and I wanted to show everyone.

Mom: "I always knew you were a bad seed. Look atcha now, a full-grown shitbush!" Me: "MmmHmm." Mom: "If you weren't so rotten on the inside, maybe you wouldn't be so ugly." I fired

What were all the possible uses of foldingstory folds? He'd certainly used it to create havoc or sharpen his skills.

The snowman walked in the familiar snow for hours trying to remember how he got here. He remembered the laughter of children and their little hands with so much hope, faith, & love

Donald Trump and Andy Rooney made sure no one was in the library. They went to the "Philosophy" aisle and embraced each other.

For every man, there is a woman, who is completely oblivious of their existence. For every woman, there is a dog, who understands.

"You are all just salt-water crap buckets who sit on your ass and let yourselves be lied to!" His shriek echoed. Everyone stopped and looked at him. He stared back, eyes hot with

There was an old house in the forest...

"I think they are out to get me." "How can you tell?" "There is all this 'whispering' behind my back." "Well, you do work at a library."

Hair loss, Ha! Tell me about it. I've tried everything under the sun to get my curls back. Horse muck doesn't work, neither does applying banana skins. Today I'll try rubbing in

there was nothing left.

Good morning gentlemen, as you all probably know we are gathered here today to pay our respects to our dear leader, James Jameson McJames III, who sadly passed away due to his

But Michelangelo was tired of the Ninja Turtle schtick. Everywhere he went people said, "Let's kick some shell!" He hated that. He was a method actor. He'd cut his teeth on

It was a classic Catch22. I had contracted Legionnaire's disease at a gentleman's club, but was supposed to have been at the Admiral's Ball. Faced with a Hobson's choice of whether

Following the Popular Electronics article Ron pimped up the photon density on his laser pointer. Unbeknownst to Ron, his "Laser Pointer of the Gods" blinded Xorg's third eye

Warrant G. was they name of the band. They played "Cherry Pie" with a gangsta rap beat and it really

As I do my dance of love, with my depends hanging low, I should have bought the bigger size, cause this ones almost full, then I step in something squishy, Oh No I've sprung a leak

I've had it, I'm through, I won't help you do it anymore. It just isn't right to take advantage of them even if they ask; and they do as so nicely, but I won't I just won't

Once upon a time there was a kitten called Sophia,Sophia is a homeless kitten at the SPCA.One day Someone adopted her to there home but Sophia didn't know that they were very mean