No more dirty thoughts. Gotta let my sense of humor mature, I said. Then Ma gave me a meatloaf tip at dinner: "Too much touch dries out the meat." C-can't.. resist.. lotion joke...

When the pounding in my head got loud enough that people beside me could hear it, I knew I had to do something about it. I went to see Prof. Loomis's brother, Luthor about it. His

I’ve always had an arrogant streak in my nature, so a humbling setback every now and then is probably good for my soul.

You're going to want to sit down for this. Well get dressed first and then sit down. I have a confession to make and it may come as a surprise for some of you.

Jody readied himself for sleep. A silent and still reprieve (he hoped) from the mad, arbitrary clutter of the world in which he was embedded. Ten silent decades later, Jody awoke t

I'm a satellite scavenger, a dangerous occupation. Governments & corporations don't like their technological secrets getting out. You have to b e quick. I'd narrowed the impact

I was sitting in class when two EXTREMELY annoying guys named

"Conniving truths are meant to be curdled" was one of my Uncles sayings. "The average platypus won't eat just any grub." another. I never had the gumption to ask what he meant &

Out of the darkness walked a tall robed figure. With him he carried a massive scythe that would take 3 grown men to lift. He was on a mission. He walked forth and prepared

This is me...I live in a colander in the downstairs cupboard... I like cliffs, and Bungee Jumping, but not parachutes or Bungee Cords. This can lead to some unfortunate mishaps...

I opened the door to see an abnormal looking person staring back at me.His eyes looked dark and tired. It was 1am.What was he, what did he want? He started to open his mouth and

C'était une fois une petit fille qui voulait devenir une princesse...

The gentleman requested the Claridge's door man to inform the carridge driver to make haste as he needed to be at Wellington Station to depart on the Orient Express at 3 pm sharp

Mpayhba, a.k.a. the Trampoline Planet, was a popular destination for kids and elephants alike. But sometimes, adept bouncers would sail beyond the atmosphere and into the asteroid

ribbit.

She buried her face in his neck. Sobbing. All the years of rage and hurt came up like depth charges. Biden stroked her back. He didn't say anything because

In an undisclosed underground bunker in Los Alamos, Ivan was developing the latest in anti-personel weapons, a combat-ready heat seeking T-shirt cannon. "Soon, the nose-bleed seats

The 'X' is silent in 'Grand Prix?' I always thought it was aptly named. I am speaking from my bass instincts.

Fufu. They were Siamese twin Siamese cats connected at the tips of their tails, which was convenient for moving about, you see, because their tails were flexible. Danger fell madly

Frank was a bald banker. Frankly, he thought, he couldn't give a damn about the economy. He wasn't married. He didn't even have a cat. But by jove, he had money. The thing was