The hungry space monkey goes to school on the moon.

'Dobrideen' he said. It meant 'hello' in Russian but I didn't speak any Russian. 'Hello?' I said, 'what did you say?' But you answered me' he said. 'You said 'hello' right back. 'w

Talk about a bus load of trouble. This animal strolls up, enters and sits down with all the other passengers like it's a

Moving to the suburbs didn't work out as well as they had planned. The dog walking mafia had their sights set on

Did she like to gamble? Man, that Melanie could get a craps game going in a nunnery. She went to Vegas once

Oh shit, I can't believe I'm an hour early, damn DST. What am I going to do for the next hour. I soon found out that I didn't really have a choice the two burly men coming would

Dinosaurs were the biggest lie. He had worked his way to the top of the Smithsonian and knew that it was a shill for the CIA. So what, he finally had his black woman and so

the bathroom tiles where cold on her feet. she sat on the lip of the bath tub, listening to the tick tock of the kitchen timer waiting for the sign. he stood outside the door

They missed the last ferry home because her dad was on the toilet and refused to let them leave until he was done. No courtesy flush meant the stench was palpable when

He ran into the glass door. He left a huge greasy nose print. His pastor was inside stroking the dog with a Hair Pick. He was trying to fluffen up

"Who the hell wears a fedora in church?" she said. "Does he think we're going to encounter a sword wielding Arabian Nazi sympathizer in Bethesda?" I jumped up and donned my turban

Lars was burnt in Fife, Washington, and braised as a Boy Scout. He groped his eleventh disc-jockey for his pukey radio station at the age of 13 after which

They wanted to chant the ten little Indians again. This time he started chanting, "Ten Little White People." The crowed was stunned into silence. All eyes upon him. How could

All she ever wanted was to be loved. But people weren't capable of it. They envied her too much. She was too smart, too stylish, too beautiful and as a result, jealousy was all

All he wanted was a drink of goddamn water. He had eaten 8 pounds of extremely salty jerky and mistakenly bobbed for apples in a salt water tank. He sprinted at the Sparklets

The Marquis strode through the courtyard searching for his lost wench. His manservant would be whipped severely if she had escaped the camp. Women were hard to come by north of

Crap, there's Matilda. I will look in the opposite corner of the room and walk like I have something to do. What's that on my shoe? Dog crap? Damn, well I can't worry about that

"I dare you." said Newton. God thought it over. "Remove all Bibles from the earth and give someone unified theory?" Newton nodded. "In ten years, more will believe in me than you."

The boy stared at him with hollow eyes and a smile that was disconnected from them. Several of his teeth were missing so when he sang, a little whistle escaped with each S. A bomb

The gingerbread men sat on the plate wondering who would be next. Trevor's death had been particularly gruesome. Little nibbles to the hands and feet until all that was left was