As I stand outside in the middle of the street, wind and snow slap around my hair. I thought to myself, "This was a mistake" as I was standing in a blizzard

When will these plows cease? When will the ice thin? How can a girl live in degrees like this? Besides cuddled up with her fat cat in toasty pajamas.

"You slammed your door on his foot!" "Yes, which proves he was an intruder. I couldn't have crushed it if it wasn't inside my house." "He was selling Girl Scout Cookies." "I don't

It was the best of times, but actually it was the worst of times. It was the age of wisdom, but really everyone was just an idiot.

At OWS Thanksgiving there will be a drumstick circle.

I ran, sweat pouring out of all my pores and above the sounds of my gasps for air I could hear the howling cries of the dogs. It occurred to me I had to make some effort to disguis

All I want for Christmas is his two front teeth cause the bastard stole my girl again. She said she really loved so I took her back again. Now he's gone and stole her again

Roger Corman wondered how to top himself. "How about Sharktopus vs. Dinocroc." Nah.. I need something new.. or old? Frankopus? Yes! Dr. Frankensteins greatgrandson is a marine biol

The crowd cheered as the speaker appeared in a dark blue suit. No one knew the topic of her speech or the impact it would have on their future.

Every girl loves a bad boy. Until they realise they're cereal killers. I hugged my cornflakes to my chest with the protective instinct of a mother eagle. 'He hates cornflakes' I

I remember the day the guns stopped firing.

I tried to keep my eye on the sparrow, but now I was looking at a moth circling an interrogation lamp. "You were looking at the moon, weren't you, but you were not thinking of me."

After the Nurikabe failed, Jen tired a more traditional means of protecting cheese puffs: burying them underground. "Digging through tile is tough," she said, clutching a rusty

Vel'drav Usstan zhahus natha lotha zaphodiop lu' l' sssiks zhahus aluin harl, Usstan orn'la veldri harl ussta orlingg dal vel'bol Usstan ssiggrin Usstan xunus kyorl.

Brad opened his store for monkey fetishists in the back of his 7-11, but quickly his inventory became about forty percent Davy Jones memorabilia. It became difficult to hide

"Ommm..." The group wore hooded cloaks and stood in the corn field forming a circle with linked hands. They began chanting and fanned out knocking down corn plants in the form of a

A monument in sand. He put the finishing touches on his 1:10 scale model of the Cheops pyramid complex, placed the plastic camels and flying saucer, and then stepped back to

On a dark desert highway, cool wind in my hair. I heard an explosion and saw Wurn Snell of Colitas rising up through the air.

Heelda heepo

Denis the Dung Beetle rolled his ball of muck away from the dung heap before the other dung beetles could snatch his prized lump. It was a wonderful life