wat da hell yo be doin in my fridge

The room was pitch black, but I could still feel his warm breath on my face. Tear streamed down my face as I wondered whether my sin was great enough for the punishment before me.

Dear Princess Celestia, you have thirty minutes to move your chariot, or your chariot will be crushed into a cube. Yours sincerely, the Canterlot Traffic Control.

What an awful night. Most if it stayed submerged in the alcoholic black out. Only a bleak gnawing that something was wrong drifted through her mind. She looked at herself in the mi

*Ding dong* "Oh, hi Hubert. What sort of halloween costume is that?" "Is it a stock broker? Is it a church warden? Is it a quantity surveyor? No! It's bicycle repairman!" "I see...

So he said "Wellll...?" I said "What you're asking is basically like asking if 2+5 is the same as 3+4. It is and it isn't. Asking is just an exercise in

"Ohhhhhhhhhh ... isn't this the end of a long, long story," I thought to myself. I sat down in the scrub, threw off my boots and rubbed my sore, blistered feet. "Ohhh ...

For each folded story finished, it is appropriate to start one. This is the first cardinal rule of folding stories. The second cardinal rule is

It wasn't that Donga minded being naked in front of Parliament, really. It was more like there hadn't been enough time to think up a witty explanation as to why. No turning back

Ok, Ok. Guys I've got it. I know what Jupiter's great Red Spot is! It's a giant zit!

there once was a boy he lived in a big shoe

Mutley sniffed the dark, wet, bright orange thing on the ground. It was rotten. Had a dark, oily film around it. The first tendrils of fungus poked up. He licked it.

I watch TV and hear the click-click-click of our whippet's nails as she patrols between kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, and living room and back again. Then the clicking stopped.

Dad was grilling steaks in our back yard when three mean-looking drones transited our airspace. I went to get my drone-blaster, but Dad stopped me. He nodded toward their goal:

"Don't forget me when it's over," I said despite how useless the request was. I knew she wouldn't miss me, nevermind remember me. At least I can accep this, even though it kills me

"Well, actually..." was her favorite phrase.

The shaolin monk headbutted the precocious child for simmering all the flavor out of his

Paul McCartney adjusted his shirt and smoothed back his hair. This was it. It had finally happened. He'd always wanted to work in a drugstore and now he was a cashier at CVS

One brisk spring morning at a Parisian trottoir as he sipped his coffee and read the paper, The Kraken was accosted by a musician on a bicycle. "How dare you despise the Kaiju! How

"We mustn't tell anyone, this would cause a world wide panic!" Those were the last words I heard before I accidentally hit "Send to everyone."