BIP...BIP! Made the machine when Sarah awoke from her 10 year coma. Her parents had fallen to the winds of time, just another way to tell the story of those who pass away.

The explosion was more of a thud than a bang. The water spouted medium high with abrupt splashing.The big guy was in his underwear, wading into the water. “Getting lunch.........

It was the moment Sisyphus had been dreading - performance reviews. Beelzebub tapped a clipboard. "Well, Sissy, it looks like today's your lucky day. You've been reassigned to

... and amplifiers, iPods, cd players, and Blue-Ray players." The Radio-Shack lackey advised me. "I just want an AM/FM radio." "I'm sorry we don't carry those."

Looking back on my long life, I regret few things more than that fateful day beneath the sprawling branches of the willow tree. I remember everything clearly:

Spandarg pulsed his lemons. He loved to pulse the lemons. Loved it like a man loves his ghost. He pulsed them until they could take no more, and then he

"I was once like you, dead inside, but now I have alcohol." Grandma froze. Her infant grandchild smiled at her, and said, "That's right, I am your reincarnated ex-husband and

So what's the deal with airline food? I mean, it's

In the Swiss city of Bern, Marie and Josephine planned to create holely baby cheeses. The baby cheeses became sought after. Three men approached them to invest in the fledgling co

The dog seductively licked my toe. I've never been a subject of beastiality, but i liked it.

The ship in a bottle was found in the hold of a three master submerged near the rocky coast off Valparaiso. Curiously the bottle was filled with an unknown spirit. Morton uncorked

And the parade lines reformed for the ribbon cutting. My parents were in the brass section & Meryl with her flute. They played & marched & I cut open the gift. And the parade lines

"I'm mad, I am," he declared, quite soberly. "Now you can't trust my word, and my will will be nullified!" He gave a high-pitched cackle, then a calm and refined sip of tea.

if a banana ate a monkey, what's the result? i mean, isn't it supposed to be the other way around? but no, i was at the zoo and i saw a banana eating a monkey, and not in that way

"Call Rich, tell him I need Botox real bad!", Dame Polly said while getting a pedicure. "What is the phone number?", her pedicurist asked. Dame Polly gave her the number.

He sat there, paralyzed for 2/3 of "Coming to America." While Eddie hammed it up, he stared at his hand. So close to hers. Her was glistening with fake butter popcorn grease

Dubbed "Woodtricity," the newly-discovered source of biopower had a controversial side-effect: radioactive, porous nodules appeared on the equipped trees, oozing a sticky mucus.

Well, we have the test results in. Your blood lab reads you have a nougaty center.

In retrospect, perhaps Freddie Mercury should have worn braces.

Throughout the entire universe, before anything even existed, there has been one question. This question: "How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck can chuck wood?"