The old man in the bush hollered, "Don't forget the duct tape!" God, I...I mean I really, he's so disgusting, he's unshaven, lice and filth all over him, God I love him. This was

I love her scent. Her very presence is like a burst of undeniable feelings, bursting from my heart. I always try not to look into her eyes, I'm always afraid she does not like me

In Alt Univ 14Y gangsta rocker Ice Trey waxed poetic about genitalia to crashing violins. The creator bobbed her head, then shook it and said "No. This just isn't hitting. What's

Aloysius, demigod spawn of a tryst between Vulcan, god of smiths and fire, and Julia Child, conceived on Julia's expedition to Aetna's peak to cook sea creatures in lava, sat in

"And if you put on the patented helmet, you can feel the warmth of an actual human hug..." Becca scoffed at the commercial. She had cats, what was the use of hugs? Her apartment

"Save a chicken for the morrow," Granny Grozna always said. But now I felt pity for the chicken, and hoped for a psychotic fugue-state instead. For I had killed my beautiful cousin

The Reciters wandered in the toxic mist along the highway, before a dawn that would never come -- the Firemen exhausted in pursuit, the phantom calls from Mars unanswered,

Nobody expects hipsters to be non-hipsters by going against the grain. drunk man argued with me to no end that hipsters did things that weren’t hip, in a

The desperate demons threw themselves against the windows and nightmares and means of breath at Marshrow Priory, but Abbess Agatha welcomed the lost souls with compassion and

She sat despondently in her empty dance studio snacking on the grapes still in place on her headdress. She needed a Christmas miracle.

Spam Baby wanted a Creamsicle, but nobody in this dimension had ever heard of one.

Jim Similar wandered the Wild West dispensing English lessons, while pretending to be really important. His teaching assistant was his sidekick Vilhelm

Hubert was wearing no shirt and mashed a cream pie in the customs agents face. The monkey in his pants tickled his

Music floated through the grand double doors. Through the glass windows Elena could see the many layers of twirling satin and sparking jewelry as women with flushed cheeks spun...

When it comes to only a choice between unmedicated goo and coagulated dust, I am reluctant to express any preference. Are you certain no other means of entry and exit is available?

I quit my day job and opened up a restaurant where we served whole steamed crabs, artichokes, sunflower seeds, and pomegranates. It was all you can eat (30 minute time limit). My

Heckabub and Juzzabub didn't have many options when it came to spooking the incarnate people of the Cosmos. But after their brief tour of Gary, Indiana, they wrote a song about it:

Big. Red. Bumpy. Almost crusty. Like the puffed up hard bubbles on a pizza crust. But this had more cracks. Clear liquid drained from the cracks. It had a sort of carbonated smell.

Melanie finally broke through the surface, gasping for air. She emerged, dripping wet and colder than she'd ever been. She had been clawing at the ice for what seemed like ages.

Becca snuck into her ex's house every night, only stealing what she could fit in her bindle. Tonight, she sought his heirloom: the remote control. Stealth ops were required because