"Atirei o pau no gato-to,mas o gato-to não morreu-reu-reu...".Beatrice listened to the other kids thinking what would the cat have done to deserve being targeted by a stick of wood

Come here and talk to your Uncle. Listen boy, if you want to invest in the future, two words. Pneumatic Tubes.

Philomena Cunk, Chairman of Cunk Inc, strode into the boardroom. She had a brace of lawyers with her but they'd be useless in the brawl that would follow her announcement

Hatchling Services swooped in. "Ma'am, are these baby birds yours?" "Yes." "Are you aware that your nest is in violation of many building codes?" "Um..." "Is it true that you puke

Pangolin! Pan-go-lin? Pang-o-lin? Pangolin!! Pangolin pangolin pangolin, pangolin pangolin pangolin pangolin. Pangolin, pangolin pangolin pangolin - pangolin pangolin! Dugong.

As I heard the click of the house lock sliding into place, I realized my pocket contained a wallet, cell phone, two wintergreen life-savers, ticket stub and absolutely no keys.

Hilarious dialogue + Zany interlude / Sexual innuendo (Blatant intercourse) - Blurring the lines * Picking up the spare = X. Ex-girlfriend's parents + financial opportunity = Y.

Jake Whistler of WeatherTV kind of liked it when the wind caught him during a storm report and blew him 50 miles up the coast. He landed on one of his favorite restaurants,

It was late. Dale tucked in the prized members of his Beanie Babies collection and curled up on the floor. He wouldn't sleep in bed with them, not since the night he rolled onto

The following narrative was found written on a bank statement envelope in the back pocket of a miscreant youth in Arkham, MA. Near the end the writing becomes an illegible scrawl.

There once was a troll,a green thooty troll named Gracie...and because she was a troll named Gracie,she was bullied by other trolls."It's not easy being Gracie!" she sung while

"Jimmy died today. He blew his brains out into the bay!" Billie Joe yelled in front of an audience of teens, with low self-esteem and questioning morals, as he strummed a guitar.

Just for fun I ordered the liver with fava beans special, paired, of course, with a nice chianti. It was surprisingly good - well, good for liver - and I decided to follow it up

'Why DO birds suddenly appear every time ev'ry time you are near?' I dared to ask out loud. She shrugged and continued munching on her muesli. That's when I decided I hated her.

She couldn't tell you about the first time she shot a gun. She doesn't remember. The recoil and the bullet wounds faded into one and she never knew whether she was the prey.

"To be successful...." Thus started my speech. It was pretty much the same opening each time. And they bought it. Can you believe that? What if they find out I really

Vanessa Conquest refused to testify against her estranged brother Eric for his "crimes" against The Commonwealth. "What crime? He's a poet who rejected our wealth. But now this?!"

With the return of magic, my Latin knowledge proved useful - my heady command of the subjunctive and result clauses allowed me to conjure with facility. I quickly rose in the

"Up Chuck Up Chuck" "Quit that. You know I hate that" " Well I was just trying to get you to jump up, a snake is about to bight your ankle, oops never mind to late now.

Barney Ross is approached by CIA man Church, who wants him and his guns for hire to go to the former Soviet Union to retrieve something that was on a plane that crashed.