Tuesday book store from a parallel universe popped into existence near work. I went in to peruse their wares, books such as Salmon Rustie's "The Slavonic Purses", "The Unbearable

In a subway station I spied a cardboard box scrawled with 'Eddies Odorific Theatre'. A holey sock puppet appeared in a cutout section and a high pitched voice announced "Presenting

"It's a show about a guy who leaps into different bodies... I've called it Quantum Leap." I said. The TV execs eyed me suspiciously like they'd heard it all before. "It's new...

I can’t decide who is Trump’s Himmler. Steven Miller was the front runner for a long time. Now I have to admit it might turn out to be Barr. Miller is still way in front but not a

During the school holidays Uncle Benny took his nephews and nieces to Pissweak World. At Pissweak world the attractions consisted of

I'd agreed to give up my independence to be a part of the historic Human Supercomputer project. Our brains were linked together in series and questions were fed into our cortex.

"Calories should be conserved, not wasted! Always take the elevator. Use a drive-in or have food delivered." Big Bob lowered the remote. Adi Johnson's late night infomercial

Tiffany's nails were getting quite badly scuffed, still she had no option but to try and make herself as small as possible and just hold on, not for the first time that day did she

"Hi Mo, I'd like a special. Can you mix up 1 finger each of Pernod, Jagermeister, Robitussin, & Bacardi 151 and light it?" "Sure, you want that with a Azodicarbonamide sandwich?"

Would you rather produce earwax so quickly it falls out of your ears every minute OR have a constant "wet spot" in the crotch of your pants?

I poured my heart into that letter. Didn't hold back a thing and it scared me to death. I folded it up into a paper airplane and sent it across the pond. It arrived

The calliope stopped playing. They turned their red noses to the batwing doors. A buffoon snarled, "Didn't anyone ever tell you not to bring a creampie to a seltzer fight?"

I attached this roller skate to this severed triceratops head precisely for an event such as this. Why it's perfect for

Time to start. Pencils - check. Scrap paper - check. Form 1040A and instructions - check. 3d6 - check. Set of miniatures and map board - check. Box of Girl Scout cookies -

The police broke into what they thought was a meth lab, but were surprised to find a guy in dark blue robes and a pointy hat holding a glowing alembic. "The Philosopher's

They set off at once to find Semolina Pilchard, but were interrupted in Galveston when, stopping for gas, they were accosted by a man selling squirrel ambergris and subsequently

Willow, Yentna, Skwentna, Finger, Rainy, Ronin, Niki, McGrath, Tako, Ophir, Idita, Shag, Anvik, Gray, Eagle, Kaltag, Una, Shaktoo, Koyuk, Elim, Golo, Whitey & Nome were her dogs

"Did you hear the one..." and off he went telling me again for the third time the joke about the pastor who played sick on a Sunday and golfed his best game. Punch line, "and God

The team of painters that I hired played a punch buggy variant called "punch bucket", which led to colorful misbrushings all over my living room. My dog was covered in streaks of

I wonder how many fingernails sit undigested in my stomach from all the times I absently gnawed them from my fingers? I'm certainly adding to the collection right now...Waiting for