I was bored one day, so I decided to go to the top a skyscrapper and jump off. I said my goodbyes to the world and jumped. On the way down in mid-air something amazing happened...

I hate the summer olympics. The sound of the starting gun always sends me into a hyperventilating state of panic. You see, I was a High School cross country runner. No one could

Is flying a kite 'like the gusting spirit in you which you hold down earthed and so rising up on a taut life line?" or is it just flying a kite? You and the wind as one?

Joe had just hit the pope with his truck. There were no witnesses. The situation was surreal. He left the cab and checked the pope's pulse. The pope had no pulse. He put the

Oh how we taunted the Mechanoids after they toasted all the organic creatures of the Seventh Arm. So what if they were post-organic -- we were post-material Hah! Mecha Master 2708

His eyes adjusted to the darkness in the ancient sewers. He could hear the authorities closing in from all directions. He needed a distraction to open his escape route lower.

Phil had been away on business for a long time. He was very homesick and couldn't wait to see his wife again. He opened the door and saw

The air was stale and heavy. Despite the curse, the man pulled the tomb's lid off. A mummy. The images warned of evil. Writing covered the wrapping, as he looked closer, the folds

Chortkin struggled to wake up. He was bound and gagged on a waterbed filled with piranhas, and wearing a lace negligee. Putin smirked. "Desire, frustration, danger: these make life

Dammit! My husband, Jefforama, is beating me at FoldingStory! Sure, I have more points, but his average is higher. Why must everything in our marriage be a competition?! Jefforama

hi

"Oops, I spilled some peanut butter and BBQ sauce on my ankle," said the mailman. "No bother, though. This surely is not a contrived situation that will come back to "bite" me."

The bomb blew up and the mushroom cloud blew out.

In a distant mental asylym the waited fall had arrived. it's been 4 years and now it's time for the competition. consisting of 4 events. The first was

David Letterman's Top 10 Reasons Why Hillary Clinton Will Win The Presidency: #10: Unlike her male counterparts, she actually grew a pair.

The witching hour came. The wind howled outside. The rain looked like blood splattering on the window. The manthing sniffed the air. Then continued eating the severed head.

She was done. After all the years of naysayers and doubt, she had finally accumulated enough abandoned scraps of cloth to sew together a life size replica of the Queen of Spain.

“Apology accepted, Captain Needa.” Said Captain Tebow. Needa was the rookie from Wisconsin who was co-Captain with Tebow in today's scrimmage against

“Your wonton will freeze before you reach the first marker.” said his co-worker at the Panda Express factory. But his friend was in giant freezer, “Then I’ll see you in Hell!”

What idiot architect decided to add a curling arena to penthouse garden was anyone's guess. But after a few drinks, a stone would fall hurtling the 30 stories to a bimmer below.