One day I woke up in a whole new world. In this new world cars could fly or drive themselves, flappy bird became the most popular game ever played, and everyone lived in a mansion.

In Tonight's News, We explore the vast loss of life when the all The Members of the Gangnam Shake Flash Mob simultaneously combusted from awesomeness. In related news, Psy

Madoff had a visitor. "Whooped-de-fucking-doo," he thought. But he didn't recognize the guy at the prison window. It was Tony Stark. He was pissed. Stark Industries had lost tons

A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. And my brain is composed of trillions of little links. I needed to get smarter quick so I set out to kill of a few billion weak links

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"This is too hard" said Jim, "Thats what she said" said Michael.

After an unexpectedly brief tour of the countryside, Leighton Milford docked his aeroskiff with a grimace of dismay in the stellarium above 19 Sutton Mews. His terrified passenger,

In November of 1878, long after it had been thought lost at sea, the Turtle of the Baskervilles

To whom it may concern STOP My name is Sam, I work at the telegraph factory STOP The telegraphs have become sentient STOP Send help STOP also Diet Coke STOP Just don't

It was a Sunday afternoon in the park on the island at La Grande Grande Jatte when suddenly Georges Seurat understood the meaning of life. It was as if everything made sense.

Professor Maladroit adjusted the mass spectrometer for recalibration. The latest lab results showed a 12,000% spike in brainwave activity among subject group 4. Couldn't be right.

You are a D.A.P., a Depressed Anxiety Person.

After sitting on the bench, joe finally decided to get up and walk on the walkway. After doing this, and interesting thought popped into his head, so he stopped and pndered...

I hate taking sleeping pills. Apparently, I get up in the middle of the pm and buy stuff from Infomercials. I only know this bc today, I received a HarryPotter ninja sword.Yesterda

There she was. Wentl. A perfect little O of green fur, her tail wrapped demurely around her pink, scaly nose. Dgorf didn't want to wake her, so he

Vaughn died tonight in his final go-kart crash. Distracted by the sinister eyes of Trump peering out from the massive billboard looming above the track, he pressed the accelerator

www.confessionalbooth.com: He set up a website with a drop box for uploading anonymous files and made it public. Two hrs later the first file was waiting.

You gotta know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away.

Once upon a time, many years ago, there was a beautiful young woman who was very sad and lonely

Thus it came to pass that the earth purged the monkey creatures. But before she did she asked the last surviving man why he should be allowed to persist. Luckily that last manling