"Stella!" I yelled, waking myself up. It took me a few minutes to orient myself to my stark apartment. Here was my dirty sheet wrapped around me, there was my playboy centerfold,

Are we not elves?

Mi vida da vuelta en el arte, especialmente la poesia y el dibujo, soy buena narrando y actuando. Toco guitarra y a veces canto. Soy apasionada, inteligente y sensible.

A million galaxies burst in his mind as he pondered the endless possibilities that lay before him . What to do he thought. Then it hit him.

"My pancreas?" I let out a sigh. "I don't even know what the hell it is or what it does." The doctor walked over. Instead of comforting me he looked me right in the eyes and

Bertie wore a cool party hat to the occasion but when he got there, he noticed everyone was just staring at him. "Jumping Spiders Gone Wild" would be his downfall, especially now

I am going to Riker-walk on your face

I woke up on some beach not being able to recall what had happened the previous night. Not only was I alone but the beach was abandoned. My only question was "why"?

"You have a hot heart for such cold deeds."

Norman liked flapjacks, Yahtzee and ZZ Top which made him a perfect

Secretart was a super hero for the sex-obsessed 21st century.

I looked at my box of Cookie Crisp. It's first mascot was Jarvis the Wizard, then it was a cop, and a burgler. The burglar had a dog. Now the dog is the only mascot and a wolf. Huh

Easter and Errington Xmas 2011

Paul of Snarkus paced wildly, dictating as usual. His scribe snickered. "For it is not the mouth of a hermit that defiles him, but what his fingers type that defiles him." The glow

Rudolph Hess was Hitler's secretary and stood by him during the lean years which meant that

I had no life, at least in part due to my being an unapologetic cheapskate. Then they opened a Discount Life Mart off of the freeway just a few miles down. This was exactly the

The following is an unedited account of what really happened after Sir Gallahad the Chaste followed the Grail-shaped beacon to Castle Anthrax & made acquaintance with the 150 virgi

Agent Kenny Loggins sat down with Kenny Rogers and said, "The jig up Ken." Kenny Roger's face burned like roasted chicken. Loggins said, "We have the foot. We found it in the river

Spatulas were not, apparently, the appropriate gift for one's ten year anniversary after all. "Dammit!" he thought as he raced back to the Dollar Store, where he hoped to find

My Aunt Martha had terrible breath. But how could I tell her when I knew full well that she was leaving me 2.3 million dollars in her will? Keeping my eyes fixed on her pock-marke