It all started when I found my grandfather's old passport. There were stamps from Japan, Nigeria and Bolivia. And all in the 1920s. What was he doing there? And why the pinecones?

Gil prepared for every scenario. His airbags -- always deployed. His backup flashlight battery charger -- charged. His dying suit -- on at all times. But even Gil hadn’t foreseen

Everything I do becomes a fad. I drank White Russians BEFORE "The Big Lebowski." I had an ironic goatee in the Eighties! (I wish I could just sue somebody.)

Mrs. Comfrey rapped on the blackboard and listened. She drew a circle with her special chalk, and laid some salt in the chalk tray, as well as jalapenos, banana peppers, huevos

He decided not to answer his phone. "Fuck it." He was going to let the goddamn chips fall where they may. Why should he care, he was going to die anyway. Hell, they were all goin

Gastro-Intestinal Joe didn't have kung-fu grip. He didn't even have arms and legs. G.I. Joe was just a head and a gastro-intestinal tract.

I like pie.

Benoondict Khanderbatch sat on the bridge of the ReallyBIgShipthat'sNOTtheReliant and brooded. Something was terribly wrong with reality, but he couldn't put his finger on exactly

Ironically, it happened on a Thursday.

I stood alone in a crowded place, a sprawling old mansion in a cramped part of town. Houses in Southside had room for perhaps a tree, or a little driveway in the front yard, but...

BREAKING NEWS: Santa is spotted doing the unthinkable- he is

I was at the New Year's Eve concert in Times Square when it happened. King of Rock n Roll Chuck Berry was singing "Roll over Beethoven" when Ludwig himself appeared on stage.

Aquí comença la història

Folding Story is a lot like blackjack. You gotta play smart with the cards you're dealt and the room you're given. And win or lose, it always seems to end with a gun at my spine.

"Your mission: go back in time and terminate the Extremist Hipster Movement before it gains momentum and takes over the world." I had woken up in 2012, but it seemed to be too late

The ochre yellow oozed off of the canvas in a distinct puddle on the museum floor. The night watchman didn't notice, and casually walked through it.

"Nothings funnier then nude people slapping each other in the shower! Am I right, or what?" "I don't know. I mean that was late night programming. But now we're talking about

"Puss in Boots just sounds wrong, damn it!"

"Oh my... it looks like a hard rain's a-gonna fall" Said Ma Gerita. "May the wrath of god and water and wind wash me away, and take me out of this misery", replied Father Jerry

Sometimes it's important to worry about where you are going. Kately discovered this one night. Head down walking the street, she was engrossed in her twitter feed and did not