The wise old man stroked his beard and stared coldly at me as if he was burning the answer in my soul.

I feel my heart actually crumpling up, eating itself. She was taking too long with the antedote. If Jes doesn't hurry, I'll be dead within minutes.My last words to Justin were "You

"These are links of pure magnesium, forged by the Dwarf Lords of old for our bravest warriors to fight the fiery Balrog that lurks within the mines-" "Wait" interrupted Fluffums,

The doorbell rang and I excused myself to answer at it. Standing there was the old man from the State Farm commercial, with his fishing rod with a dollar bill baiting the hook. "I

Donatello stood with Cristiano in the garden. The one with the lavish fountain and the abundance of flowers and stone walkways. "Join us, Cristiano," Donatello said. Mystified,

Indoors, indoors, iiiiiinnndoooooorrsss! Take it away penny!

Punxsutawney Phil finished his survey of the satellite images & entered the data into his weather forecasting program. Then he took the elevator of his underground penthouse to the

This bitch had to go. Not only did she have the balls to post a note in the breakroom in ALL CAPS, but she'd used comic sans font. I'd fashioned an office shiv out of post-its and

Once upon a time there was a dragon who lived in a cave. Every so often Sally, who lived up the road, would visit the dragon, telling it all of her secrets. But one day the dragon

Trader Joe and friends got wiggy with it after reading the Fearless Flyer. Frank N. Furter was uncured at the thought of being served with organic chia bars. The blonde and red wig

In an unfortunate twist of fate, before he died, Dr. Spock mind-melded with Sybil.

"Well," Sue said, "if you come to my flat I could give you a bowl of my very lovely mulligatawny soup and you could, maybe, eat it." The soup bribe worked and once he was sitting

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... STAR DOORS D-DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUMMMMMM!

"I think I picked up Albus Dumbledore at the bar last night" exclaimed Frank out of the blue. "He showed me some pretty naughty wand tricks and kept refilling my drinks for free."

"Yeah, I have gay characters, so what?" She typed. The other author seemed amused. "R u gay or sumthin" He replied. She rolled her eyes at the spelling errors. "Who gives a fuck?

In the deepest darkest depths of the rugby changing room I was lacing up my boots in preparation for....

So she switched off the lights. Yep, she was trapped in an old Hollywood movie. How did she know? Because the darkness wasn't really dark. It was sort of a dark blue and you could

XVM11 ordered a brillo pad burger, wire fries & a motoroil shake to go. He was late for robot's rights demo, but his insides were making scraping noises. A human cop walked in and

He used to get a Christmas card every year from the jolly old elf, but now their relationship was strained. "He never writes." muttered Krampus.

A hard-boiled egg was set before him. The shell was fragmented. Gently he began to peel it, one shard at a time.