I stood over the children—tears in their eyes, chocolate longing in their hearts—and I laughed. I said to them, "I have eaten all the cake!" None could defy my power, so I moved on

OK, here's the deal. You get: all the beer you can drink, all the weed you can smoke, all the food you can eat, unlimited multimedia entertainment and $40,000. I get:

In retrospect, the idea of glass toilet paper, while appealing in some respects, perhaps was not of his more thought-out inventions, nor had the sandpaper variety caught on as much

We stepped warily into the first room of the dungeon, weapons and eyes gleaming in the sputtering torchlight, following the marching order we had planned on: in front, the fighter,

Amanda Widdershins looked around at her new apartment: modern, reasonably well made, good view of the city lights, but sterile somehow compared to the farmhouse she had sold. She

He placed the stranger's child right next to the folding star in the swimming pool library, hoping some thieving boy would not steal cast a spell upon him. The line of beauty, he

There was a scratching at the door. He crept up & looked through the peep hole. "Vance? Open up. We just want to have a few words with you." He placed the shotgun against the door

"What's this?" Dr. Foldenstein cackled. "A new fold! Freshly unfurled this morning. Mmmm this one shows promise. No telling where it could go. Perhaps this calls for a

Senator Jones didn't really care about the issues. Just gathering enough votes. But an angel shot him and he went mad with love at a fundraiser full of well-groomed sociopaths be

She destroys the bathroom in a private jet after suffering from a heroin-induced case of the runs. To pin the blame on another passenger she takes a huge amount of expensive

I’m not a one-of-a-kind. According to the stamp on my birth certificate, I’m a “Limited Edition '94 Bob Vantz”. The other 19 Bob Vantz’s that were produced are scattered throughout

"My name is not Little Johnny and you are not going to give me an obedience shot," eight-year-old Brad informed the school nurse. He had already hacked his chip and was prepared to

There is a Monster at the End of this Story.

"Funky!" screamed Bootsy Collins, sweat spraying from his

Love wasn't there. They looked in all the cupboards and under the beds and behind the sofa. They didn't know where they could have lost it.

"Two more sequential black-outs, a meatfest, and then three different shades of self-loathing and a car, and just like that I was a roadie for Danzig." The crowd clapped.

Dr Crud made his first incision with a scapel into the little girl's chest only to discover the patient was filled with sugar and spice and all things nice. Amy's twin brother need

I heard this story, bit by bit,from various people, &, as usually happens in such cases,each time it was different but each time just as true, but it alway started with the spatula

Mormons knocked on the door. Mom-mom said, "You, go talk to them. Pop'll sneak around behind 'em with a slingshot." I begged, "Make me not your sacrificial lamb," and hid under

The Moon was a pale disk in the roiling sky, casting its leery gaze over the landscape: trees, barren of leaves, bending under a screeching wind. Black dust, the choking ash, swirl