My hair stood on end, a shiver raced down my spine and a lump came to my throat. It was him. The mystery figure that haunted my inexplicable dreams every night. Why'd he choose me?

"Pickled onions are quite a tasty snack", said Darryl, finishing off a whole jar of his wife's home made fayre. "Slow down, Dar!" said Anita, shocked at her husband's gobbling.

The books fell from the shelf and onto her head, but they were paperbacks. This was the second quake in five minutes. The first had caused her parents to fall from the balcony.

I am walking down the street. My shoes making a soft cuffing noise on the stone walk way. The sky is an empty vastness of black. Where are the stars? Where all the people?

There was a girl that loved to dance and wanted the whole world to see her.

She sat sipping tea, smiling at her guest, knowing full well that the man sitting across from her was a serial killer.

"Shit neva go down da way ya like it", the old man mused, taking another bite of Bill's torso. "Bacon do taste good, do taste good though."

As the hands tightened around my throat, I pondered how I'd gotten myself into such a mess. It all began with the tea party, of course. And I'd used my best china too. I guess

A long time ago there was an elf, he saw a cake nd want to eat it, but his friend, the penguin, told him not to eat it

i felt like stabbing something in my eyes. The hot scalding iron bar seemed perfect.

Once upon a time there was a nyan cat that farted rainbows which destroyed earth little by little and 1 day the president says "enough is enough, he has destroyed the white house".

She looked at me with amorous eyes. She breathed heavily, covered in sweat and drool as if struggling to exist. But her glare had more strength than 20 men. Her stomach gurgled...

She had lived in a bubble her entire life; no, not that metaphorical bubble in which attractive people receive compliments (she was butt-ugly). It was a real bubble made of

I had no reason to disbelieve the Kings of Leon, but I had to know- was the sex REALLY "on fire"? To get to the bottom of this conundrum, I called up my good friend

Mavis never knew a yard sale she didn't like.

When will these plows cease? When will the ice thin? How can a girl live in degrees like this? Besides cuddled up with her fat cat in toasty pajamas.

It was super hot in London & everyone fasting for Ramadan was finding 18 hours without water a bit much.

It was 2 AM and all that was open was a Fatburger, so I pulled in. Odd, no helicopters around, must be

I was bored one day, so I decided to go to the top a skyscrapper and jump off. I said my goodbyes to the world and jumped. On the way down in mid-air something amazing happened...

there is a town that the buildings are not meant for these streets