Yup. She was definitely dead. Oh Jesus, this

Yup. She was definitely dead. Oh Jesus, this is not good. Not good at all.

"I agree! She was bad enough on earth but now I gotta deal with her 'devout catholic' ass!" shouted Jesus. I felt bad for the guy, but I had a body to hide- I grabbed the nearest

piece of cardboard to cover it. What was I into?

My hands started to sweat, my eyes were getting heavy and my chest tight. I was having a panic attack as I realized that maybe I wasn't going to come back home anymore.

I knew what I had to do though. I rushed through the hordes of piñatas, as the Evil Cati Army started to eat my pants that I had dropped earlier. ARGHGHHG! I needed those pants to

model for Calvin Klein. It was my next chance for a big break, after that last one fell through. Ah yes, I remember when Milton stole my prized invention, Hungry Hungry Hippos...

...it was a fine day, the air smelled of cheese, and I had just finished doing unspeakable things with Calvin in exchange for a modeling contract. Milton was there too, and

Dennis Cooper witnessed it all. He turned it into a series of graphically violent and sexual books, but it's not like I saw a penny of their sales come my way. So after this, I

took what little i had and bought as much alcohol as possible. I was in the middle of drowning my sorrows when,

my boss called. I let the machine pick it up. "Hello, John. I called to tell you that you're fired. Your job has now been filled by a talking elephant. Have a nice day!"