Thanks to the landmark case of "US Government vs. Dr. Finkle", proctologists were now required to use stirrups and a speculum to give their exams. No longer would women be the

The buzzer rang. A man wearing odd headgear with multiple zoom lenses stood at the door. "Hi there. You've won a free mapping of your residence for google@home."

What's big, black, hulking, and scares the living daylights out of women? The creature living in the basement, that's what. But if I don't keep it fed, I'll be next to disappear..

Grato told his brother last. "I won the one-way ticket to Mars." Santuur imploded. "I need to go, bro. The structures are mapped. I need to see for myself, to touch the glyphs, to

"You're a poser, Sicily McPhalleyman". He said it to the mirror, straightened his Hermes tie, and grimaced his best impression of a smile. Then he entered the boardroom

I am a dog my name is Rupert and I am going to eat my food, then I am going to drink water... My friend Tom the cat said " I am going to...

The internet trolls are under your bed, in your closet, and in your head.

The Red Devil was flowing through her veins, waging war once again, breaking through cellular barriers, battering down both good and evil. She screamed in victory, baldly declaring

"Alert! Beyonce has broken her silence on the 'elevator incident'." Alert! Beyonce has broken her silence on the 'elevator incident'. Alert!.."

Once upon a time there was a 'Goldilocks' planet where everything was just right. Perfect. But some of the animals started to question things after a while. "Why

Through an unusual & inexplicable sequence of events, I found myself locked in closet with YoYo Ma. We were both sweltering & our hands were duct-taped together. Neither of us

When New York's Macys unfurled the balloons for another Thanksgiving's day parade, no one knew what had been left in the back in 1924.

He was a world eat world kind of dog. Teeth. Growls. And a cape. He took nourishment from beer and lil smokies.

Being she was extremely bored and felt like doing nothing but writing, the young girl opened a draft in her email to begin a story, and stopped. She had an unread email.

I woke up in a new pacer.I woke up in a new pacer.It has stylish upholstery but is not so racy.I cruise down town & purchased a bucket of KFC, with bacon dip sauce its really tasty

What is it with you teenagers these days? Seriously.Life is really not as bad as you think.Don't listen to what the media tells you.The world is yours,Chicas, and everything in it.

He was alone on the Metro, and all he could think about was Midnight Meat Train. There were only two other people on the train, one a drunken girl in a mini-skirt, the other a

You know you're getting hotter and you know that your life is in danger with every second. What do you do? Run? Fight? Beg for forgiveness? Only you can change life's fate when

"Stealing from children and murdering mimes, these are a few of my favorite crimes!" Julie Andrews was drunk again. She twirled into the groping mitts of the notorious producer,

On my 13th birthday, the day I became a man, uncle Shlomo's mullet ate Mrs. MacPherson's poodle Mitsy. I remember it vividly. It was preternaturally fast, devouring the unlucky