"Hey, I know..." I hated when she started a sentence with those words. Trouble would soon follow, I knew. Almost as bad was, "I was wondering..." I drew a deep breath and waited.

I was sitting on my couch watching tv when someone rang my doordell. so i got up walked to the door and unlocked it then opened it and who i saw suprised me so much that i shouted

The car fell on top of me and I smashed through the skylight, plummeting to the warehouse floor beneath me. I flexed my hand and I slowed down. The cheese had found me at last...

The house had been boarded up six days earlier. The other two cats had run off when the construction workers showed up, but the tabby, Vincent, had stayed under the bed because

President Humpty liked to set an egg timer and think things "over easy" when faced with a difficult decision, but now his eggs were poached. His wife Mary Quite Contrary was seen

The Count languished in anguish. Without a tongue, life had no savor. He should have known that his latest dinner guests were from Argentina, and the silver content of their blood

I was is the dark forest. Sounds of terrified screams from both sides of me. I knew I had to run but I didn't know where to go. *Snap!* That's it, I'm finished. Oh God that's

"Will these friggin' tools every give up?" Zuckerberg asked to nobody in particular. "Who, the hackers?" asked this assistant. "No, the Winklevoss twins, they just

I got out my ruler and measured carefully. The other kids at the lunch table stared, but I intended to eat this Fruit By The Foot precisely one foot at a time. I made incisions

He was born in Llamfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch & by the time he started working as journalist he had hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliophobia. The chief edito

"Peak oil is here!" read the headline. I looked at the long line of SUVs at the pump. We'd been caught sleeping. While the U.S. economy staggered, China's soared. Suntech dominated

Once there was a little strawberry. She had to leave her country, in order not to become jam.

I saw my mom with another man. The man was half her age and totally Emo. They were french kissing in the hall. It was parent-teacher night. Dad was at the lockers. This had

After we woke the Kraken, it turned out we were kindred spirits. Never quite sociable at any hour, and certainly not just after rousing. The Kraken and I both liked sardines and

They'd been on the salt encrusted boat for months. His eyes couldn't focus on anything more than 12 feet away. He was thirsty. Now they were anchored off of paradise. He could

I never throw things away and as such, containers like this littered my room, waiting for the moment I’d need a screwdriver to dissect a tiny toy car and save the world. I checked

the walk home took forever she walked into her house with a big smile on the face but then..

It was my first session, she looked at me all concerned. "and How are you feeling?" I looked at her and cracked a big smile, "Horny."

"Are you SURE this is safe?" she asked. I replied coolly, "Babe, sometimes I'm right, sometimes I'm wrong. But this time I'm right." Thus begins the story of a time I was wrong.

After getting my lunch from the cafeteria i sat down and about to eat my pizza when all of a sudden i saw..