He sat there, paralyzed for 2/3 of "Coming to America." While Eddie hammed it up, he stared at his hand. So close to hers. Her was glistening with fake butter popcorn grease

Dubbed "Woodtricity," the newly-discovered source of biopower had a controversial side-effect: radioactive, porous nodules appeared on the equipped trees, oozing a sticky mucus.

Well, we have the test results in. Your blood lab reads you have a nougaty center.

In retrospect, perhaps Freddie Mercury should have worn braces.

Writer's block is a bitch.

Throughout the entire universe, before anything even existed, there has been one question. This question: "How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck can chuck wood?"

Bobbie took his beats with him. He dragged his street machine speaker box down fifth avenue and let it vibrate the shop windows. He wanted everyone to enjoy his good taste in music

Cheney handed out thin strips of paper. "What the hell's this?" asked Rumsfeld. "It's a political litmus test,when you lick it it changes color. Red means your a commy. Green and

Why do I hate Bono he wondered.

The man saw that the wall was tall and all he did was fry an egg in hopes that in some abstract way

"It's a novel. See that's the author's name on the cover.", Tess was excited. "I don't get it. One person wrote it? How's the gameplay?" I tried to show interest. "Just start here.

He grasped the window-ledge, peeked his head over enough to see what was happening inside. Let the fantasy grow, build, until he was standing next to her, in his head - ready to

Was there a way out? The tunnel seemed to go on forever. The wolf sniffed anxiously at a pile of logs left abandoned on the tiled floor. It wanted

Manuel driving his marine Oldsmobile down the bridge was just trying to get home in Queens when his old friend just gave up on him...He never thought that day would come!

Ben & Jerry's has a new Pot Brownie Batter ice cream, which means dieting is officially a non-thing. I hide my stash in a secret compartment in my water bottle. Dogs always sniff

He rode into town on Monday (his horse). The actual weekday was a Thursday. Frank "the Bank Thief" O'Reily was an odd one. He wore one black boot and one brown, and he never forgot

"You're under Seizure Regulation fifteen." That meant no trial because the fifteen regulations covered espionage and terrorism. What a joke he thought, but the Borg

The tofu jiggled on her belly button. He tried again to pick up a piece with his chopsticks. She giggled. Tofuland was not to every man's taste, but

Ffwupp ffwupp...Ffwupp ffwupp...Ffwupp ffwupp... Creeeeeeeeeeeek...

"Why are you walking funny?" I don't walk funny." "Yes you do! Just now when you walked over to the kitchen, I heard laughter coming from your shorts." "Oh that. That's just my