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Cheney handed out thin strips of paper. "What

  • Cheney handed out thin strips of paper. "What the hell's this?" asked Rumsfeld. "It's a political litmus test,when you lick it it changes color. Red means your a commy. Green and

    6
  • you're a true capitalist. Cheney turned his back to get the poltical litmus test paper color guide. Rumsfeld quickly cut a strip of green construction paper and held it up. "See!"

    6
  • I figured this was probably a counterfeiting ring, so I kicked down the door swinging uppercuts all over the place. Cheney had a quintuple bypass. Rumsfeld tried to

    5
  • give me a Chinese burn but Rumsfield is a midget who wears four-inch heals to disguise his embarrassing little problem so I knutted him. The mob

    5
  • -y dick novel that Rumsfeld kept down his pants protected his private parts. Instead I got a really sore knuckle. Then Rumsfeld squirted ink in my face like a giant squid and

    5
  • made the noise of a great slurp that I imagine would only be formed by the waffling beak of The Great Kraken itself! Rumsfeld Kraken didn't realise how untopical he'd become. He

    4
  • did have that waffling beak, however, which was a plus. Everyone loves waffles, even if they belong to The Great Kraken. The Great Bakin Kraken, maker of the best waffles in Norway

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  • & all the rest of Scandinavia, for that matter. I might be waffling a bit on the subject, but I also like Nessie's. She can whip up a waffle comparable to the Kraken's creations.

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  • But of course, "release the Kraken" is way more alarming than "release the Nessie". It totally depends on the impact you want to have on the audience.

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  • "Are you ready to RUMBLE? NOW at the Staples/Citibank/Target Aquadome, the battle of the CENTURY! The KRAKEN-NESSIE MONSTER RALLY! This Thursday! Children half-price. BE THERE!

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2 Comments

  1. 49erFaithful Jun 20 2014 @ 12:24

    YOU PAY FOR THE WHOLE SEAT ... BUT YOU ONLY NEED THE EDGE!!!

  2. lucielucie Jun 22 2014 @ 12:21

    Excellent.

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