I've always been a bit of a klutz. Last week I stumbled in my stilettos and tore a hole in the fabric of reality. It was a blue hole & the edges shimmered like shoals of tiny fish

Most guys weren't like him. For example, he put his pants on both legs at a time. I tried that once and got a bloody nose for it. He'd walk

On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, a robot vacuum from the Sharper Image.

"But sometimes, sometimes I dare to look him in the eye. Straight. He's like at the end of the bed and stuff. Just, panting. And I look in Fido's eye and I see a killer lurking in

Charles was poised, ready to strike. Assembled before him were bottles of ink, calligraphy pens, and even a quill or two. Sheets of paper lined the desk. It was finally time to

D0nt U H@t3 wh3N ppl Tw@lK l!k3 Th!S haha

I guess Mabel Jones was tired of being the outcast of the neighborhood. One Saturday morning she released a squadron of autonomous weaponized robots from her two-car garage. Jeff

Don't read this story. Seriously. It's uncreative, the transitions are awkward, and there's no wit to be found. You'd feel less pleasure than a Scorpio with an Aquarius wife, or

I sat, absentmindedly stirring my cereal with my spoon. Ripples moved across the surface of the milk, I stopped stirring and it kept rippling. The table was shaking, they were here

Mark had been standing at the altar for 45 minutes, but he was willing to give Jess the benefit of the doubt. His "innocent until proven jilty" outlook came back to bite him when

And I learned not to throw on in the towel I learned to wipe my sweat with it and keep pushing!

Marvin woke in the middle of the night after a leathery dream with drool on his cheek and a rabid bat nestled in his Movember beard.

I gave her a shake but her body was heavy and lifeless, probably been dead for an hour or two based on the warmth still falling out of her angular cheeks. Who was she? She seemed

Bored of Tumblr, Chad logged off his computer. "What now?"

As Roberta drove along, a huge pothole appeared in the road. It wasn't the fear of driving into it, as to what suddenly appeared out of it. A giant

Mrs. Henderson always used a crooked wand with a few little branches. It kept her humble and provided a safeguard, as she had no idea where her intentions came from anyway. On the

Anjinsan, downed the ice cold ginger beer and belched. He saw a movement behind the Fusuma and quietly grasped the hilt of his wakizashi.

Ah yes, she was free again. She loved a Sunday drive. The Cabbie's aftershave didn't bother her. Ever since the DUI she had to take taxis, but no matter, she was as free as

The first day of summer was a couple days ago. That was the day a boy named Brady was born.

OK teach, it's cool that you're hot and all. Cute too. But do you really have to wear *that* shirt with *those* shorts. And pigtails? Come on! I'm trying to make grades here.