The first single from the album, title track "You're not ugly or poor, are you?" set a music industry record by

"DAH-BEE-DUS." And with that latest failed attempt at enunciation, Wilford Brimley's agitated speech coach stormed out of the trailer and moved on with her life.

Drats! That damned mouse stole my cheese again. It was day 47, and the vermin was stealing my expensive cheddar cheese. I walked around the apartment slowly, with a shotgun in my

the elevator tried to break us down but we said oh no! lets go crazy! my surrealist skills are a bit hazy but i thought we could try it. just for shits and just for giggles

There once was a lawyer who lived in a tree

In that definite & rare descriptive case, the logic & truth value were both valid positions. However such existential topologies were only found in null pockets of empty space.

The night was November 27th, also known as "Black Friday". Justin and I were on our way to the mall to do our annual people watching.

The trick was to have at least one more world than you had illusions. If you had equal or less the illusions died. But with that extra world you could have the illusions feeding on

The quality of early childhood education

It wasn't my intention to break my leg on my wedding day. It was just convenient that it happened when I decided I no longer wanted to marry her.

Flip flop. Flip flop. Flop flop flop flop.

"What's that smell?" Doug felt a stabbing pain in his love handle. Mary Jane's smelly sneakers were right behind his oscillating fan! Dougy tried to distract Dick by claiming

My family thinks I'm cloistered in my bedroom because I'm selfish and grumpy. If they believe that, I can never explain that I had a boyfriend and he betrayed me. I AM all alone.

My parasitic twin and I were enjoying a leisurely stroll down the avenue when out of nowhere came the call of the world's rarest avian species, a bird so rare that only one was

"How dare you defy me!!!!!!"

One day this little girl went outside to play in the snow. She first had to make a snowman. Then she had to have a snowball fight. The little girl was digging in the snow and found

Once upon a time, well, present day, there were two old Apple 2E computers from 1983 that sat side by side in Rob's office, with dusty covers over them. They were in love. "Baby,

"Jenney's First Year Latin" was, contrary to popular belief, not written by Jenney, Scudder and Baade as advertised on its spine. No, quite to the contrary. As many young Latin

Humpback the Clown decide that maybe it was time to reevaluate some of the voices he had made.

3 big green elephants were stampeding towards me. I ran as fast as I could but