Let tell you a story that was told long ago by the settlers of this fair plain. Those hard tack pioneers who tamed the West and built the first strip mall. Cinnabuns as far as the

"Knock knock"."Who is it?" "It's the Plumber I've come to fix the sink."..."Knock knock"."Who is it?" "It's the Plumber I've come to fix the sink." She hesitated. She hadn't called

It was just as the parrot had foretold. On the hour the cuckolded rooster crowed, the sky began to darken. The great ravens wing covered the sun. The barren hen laid a golden egg

Well, I for one nominate that we flood this new Orwellian Cispanet with so much degenerate, offensive filth that it makes Tom Green blush & those thought-nazis consider a repeal.

Continue on with this if you dare - Elbirret saw siht! Elbirret yletulosba! Noitautcnup eht tpecxe sdrawkcab saw gnihtyreve. Siht tuoba enod eb ot dah gnihtemos!

Hey, I just met you, and you're driving me crazy! So I'll call cops, if you don't away from me-e!

My "friend" said he thought ponies were stupid. Now, I have him tied up in my basement, He's wondering what the heck I'm going to do with him. I ignored him and grabbed by knife.

One day I late for school and I was running down the sidewalk when all of a suddent I was attacked!! Out of no where this huge mysterous creature emerged from the woods by the scho

"Joy of Cooking," pg. 929, Chicken Nugget recipe: 1) Slaughter chickens 2) Cleave into fun dinosaur shapes 3) Throw away 4) Guzzle pink slime 5) Wash down with soylent pink soda 6)

"To one half-cup whiskey add three drams elderberry tincture. Stir widdershins by the light of a harvest moon. Pour over glacial snow in a cup carved by no man's hand."

"Hmm. I wonder why Gary has the Event planned for the sleepiest day of the year." I reached for my copy of "Eigler's Extensive Concordance of Hidden Surprises." It fell open to the

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, it was a dark and stormy night. A door slammed and a shot rang out! The maid screamed. A pirate ship appeared on the horizon.

What on Earth are you going to say to this, I wonder?

I am a beautiful sphere of pure white light and everyone else is a bunch of total and complete bastards.

The Kolians manipulated defects in the metallic hydrogen core of their planet for computation. All data of their civilization flows to the core which I believe Captain is sentient.

Bianca cracked quail eggs then mixed in ox foot broth & cachaça. Before the omelete set she added an oyster & bull testicle for good measure. If this didn't unfurl Juan's mastro

Child: "Why is the sky blue?" Adult: "Because." Child: "Why because?" Adult: "Because it is." Child: "Why is it?" Adult: "Thats the color the sky has." Child: "Why is that?" Adult:

She lied too me about her adventures with this other girl. I felt jealous! I didn't speak to Holly for a few weeks.

I was so tired. I hate crying. I wasn't upset but when other people cry it makes me cry. I felt like

I wake up every morning at