Hey, kids it's me, I bet you thought that I was dead! But when I fell over I just broke my leg and got a hemorrhage in my head! Ha-ha-ha!

Gwen pulled into the parking lot of Aunt Valetta’s Sentient Sofa Bar and Grill™. She'd been starving all day, but hadn't found a thing to eat at the Turgid Stoat Sanctuary.

I told my guests that I loved their shoes so that they might keep them on, the sight of crinkled toes made me dizzy and ruined more than one Amway party

Yesterday I found myself in the Banal Zone. My cousin's fiance and I found ourselves discussing cheese and cheese product. I insisted on only having real cheese on my sandwiches &

"I can make good soup with anything," my hubby said. I pfft-ed and scribed more plans for world domination. He swiped my notes and threw them into the pot. The broth gurgled evilly

The car was entering the curve at well below the speed limit. Little did this matter as the driver was blindfolded. This was the ultimate test of clairvoyance. As the road turned,

Garrett was only 23 and not at all physically damaged when he decided to go for the most well-reviewed biochassis that he could afford. But when it came to dating,

that may be well and good that you are top in FoldingStory." said my wife. "But when are you going to make me Empress of the World?" And so I began, dear reader

"Cat got your tongue?" said Natasha. It was true. My Tabby Dmitry blew me a rasberry. Meanwhile I had his tongue. I felt the raspy prickly velcro-like texture of it & had an urge

Resolutions I will make, but probably won't keep in 2016: (1) Spend less time on FoldingStory (2) Lose weight, exercise more, (3) Get more sleep, (4) Be nicer to Jefforama, (5)

All love stories are ghost stories.

The Ducks of Al-Hazred had once been ordinary fowl, but, having read from the gibbering madness written by the author of the Quackronomicon, what sanity they had went the way of

AnneMarie,dancer at L'OperaBallet,Paris where students are called"little mice",had a rat phobia.Almost impossible to her to say yes to the part on TheNutcracker."Mice King my ass!"

"Really?" Art Garfunkel was incredulous. "Rubbing parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme on my feet will do it?" "Indeed," intoned Dr. Robinson. Homeopathic remedies for foot odor

I did the fandango. He moonwalked. I countered with running man to robot running out of batteries. He threw up a huge West Side symbol and did the splits. I foxtrotted. He salsa'd.

Jeremy had a time machine and sent himself back before The Singularity to a time when things made sense and people could speak in sentences instead of bobbling around like fish in

Roland, chef de partie of the Chacune et chacun Fantaisie restaurant, had an appetite for sabotage. He'd slip osmium cubes in tourtes so the serveurs would drop unbalanced trays on

I cant believe im actually after all the distractions, and road-blocks im finally here! But i have to give thanks to my friend Jameson who gave me the opportunity, if it wasn' for

Once upon a time there was a pig.

In humans, pubic lice are more closely related to gorilla lice than head lice are. FACT.