One day I late for school and I was running

One day I late for school and I was running down the sidewalk when all of a suddent I was attacked!! Out of no where this huge mysterous creature emerged from the woods by the scho

ol and scared me to death. I fainted and when I woke up I was in a hospital bed with no memory.

It was only slowly with the help of Dr. Brunsneed a Proctologist who dabbled in hypnosis that I began to recover my memory. We delved ever deeper into the dark recesses of my

"Great Behind." Which is how the great HypnoProctologist Dr. Brunsee referred to my past. He said "smells" were always the deepest, strongest memories. So he switched on the

Olfacticanalator, dimmed the lights & asked me to describe my feelings as I smelled the scents. The first one hit me: earthy, but putrid. "Aunt Mildred," I replied. Next, sweet &

Sour hot dogs, the dish my mum made when I was a kid, which was okay. Easy to make, but nothing exciting. Next was the pungent smell of

surströmming. Could it really be as bad as all that? The only way to find out was to try it. I like smelly bleu cheese so

I figured surstromming can't be as bad as the valdeon I make, into whose mixture I dissolve ampicillin pills, and that I curdle through last week's socks. Was I in for a surprise!

I passed out twice from the foul surstromming bouquet. After my gag reflex was exhausted I managed to choke a mouthful down and felt as the whole Baltic Sea had both filled me

and passed right through me. What a purge! I'm pretty sure I saw the Buddha sometime during this episode and he too k me out for cocktails at Dobie's Bar. I awoke refreshed.