As if in a trance, I steered my shopping cart into the strange gloom of Aisle 11. Moments later, a small smoky demon chomped on my leg then handed me its business card before it

Sometimes it's just too easy. Like retrieving sugar-infused confections from a miniature fledgling human. All you have to do is spend 8 hours a day for 5 days a week for 30 years

"Où est la carotte?" she said. "Ah! Ici la carotte!" he replied. "Où est le banane?" he asked. "Ah! Ici le banane!" she responded. "Où est la courgette?" "Ah! Ici la courgette!"

It's amazing thinking back to when people had unlimited water. I remember just letting the hose run and run, water flowing endlessly into the dark green grass. Since the drought

In a Norwegian fjord a thought was nestling in an icy cleft of granite. The sun shone on the clear water, the idea became flesh and the flesh took on the form of the mighty Kraken!

The Dipsy Doodle is a new roller coaster that promises zigzag turns translating into 40 Gs of force, enough to make it feel like you’re being squashed in between 2 sheets of steel.

“Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.”

Hi

Alone, old man Suzuki lived a quiet, rural life in a decrepit hut near Kyoto, the ancient city where his dreams had been crushed, his fortune seized, and his only son kidnapped.

Where the hell are they? The muddy water blurred my vision and my gills were clogging up with river sludge. They are lucky it's not a Tuesday or I would eat their livers just for

If yuo cna raed tihs, yuo'er smrater tahn teh avreage humna.

Totally random words! 1) Table. 2) potatoes. Pppppooooooottttaaaatttttooooooeeeesss! *says potatoes randomly in the corner.* 3)

Spring Flowers

Necronomicon, book of the dead, waited patiently among the remainders next to a Dan Brown novel and an 'Owners Guide to Fish Tanks.'

I have a friend. . .well--at least he thinks he's my friend. . .who is always there, even when I wish he'd be somewhere else. It's hard to miss someone who is always there.

Back in college I started playing underwater hockey. Then when I was in Navy Seals I realized a team of dolphins could own the pool floor, so I quit the navy and

"Would you like Snakes on a Plane?" "I would not like them on a Plane." "Would you like Snakes on a Train?" "I would not like Snakes on a Plane. I would not like them in a Train.

Varla Du Gong lay seductively in a puddle of seawater upon the baby grand. Detective Manatee flicked the smoldering butt of his cigarette into the ashtray, adjusted his fedora,

There once was a man from Nantucket

I sheathed myself in the garments fitting my caste and then I went to work just as I'd done every day since my extrusion. My task was unsavory, but I was congealed for this purpose