Jeremy calculated that every possible person worth dating on the internet for a given individual lived precisely (2*age)/ (inverse square of mass - 100 kg) miles away, making the

"POPULAR BURGER SHOP USES PAINTED BUNS" was written on the front page of the newspaper this morning.

After many lives of vile deeds he was finally reborn as a worm.Ah..The life of a worm! (S)he wriggled out of a muddy hole onto the pavement & let the rain pelt his glistening skin

The bat swept in from the storm. Dracula confronted him. The bat's claw had a crystal key that

My Uncle Luther just passed gas while we were sitting around the family room. I was the only one who heard it. He knew that I knew. But it quickly became evident to everyone that

The pied piper had gone to Los Angeles for a recording contract, but discovered that there was no money in the music business anymore. In fact, some 14 year old kid had taken his m

I was so relieved when my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. I'd been looking for a way out of the relationship and happened to be sterile. She didn't know this. Of course, she

"You got me so fired up angry. I ain't gonna wait for no jury! You've committed a crime so evil, so downright hayness. It's my duty to wipe you off the face o' the Earth without

The April Reserve was once a beautiful expanse of native wildflowers & rolling hills. Rabbits cavorted & harriers nested. But an altered fire regime coupled with increased nitrogen

Twelve year-old Kate looked grumpily out of the window of her crowded SUV. She felt nauseous as her car swerved slightly back and forth through a massive blizzard.

There was a time when i was so broken hearted

Hmmmm....pole dancing classes down at the senior citizen center sounds kinda fun, thought Ella. No experience necessary. Orthopedic shoes OK, the ad said. But when Ella got there

My dog woofed at me and I said what do you want Peanut Butter. He talked to me and my mother said WTF hahah my dogs such a douche Camel. my mother is also my sister

"What's the nicest thing you have ever done to help someone?" asked Mrs. Fludgecow. Should I remind her about the time I kept quiet when I saw her doing something nasty with the

The note ended with, "Why dear sir, one could hardly find a sillier celebrity than you." He stared at the paper, trembling. "Sillier celebrity?" He thought, why he was the MOST

"Ok." "Raw, raw as raw." "Raw?" "Did you see my lips move? And hear sound come out of my face?" "Yeah." "I said raw!" "Ok, but dude, why are you so pissed?" "We ate it!" "So?"

Frog and Toad were best friends.They rode bikes, sang, & baked cookies for each other. They were also partners in crime.This, boys& girls, is the true story of Frog & Toad Together

The machine sat silent in the centre of the room, its blades and hammers glistening in the dim light. Bill stared at the large button marked "Do not press." His eyebrow twitched.

The Charmeleon yawned, his feet dragging as he stumbled out from his rocky den. The sun had already climbed over the mountain's peak by now; the lizard had slept very late indeed.

after puting on the jumpsuit and getting ready to jump off the cliff i turned around and I seen