The full moon rose like the anger in my soul. Tonight was the night. I checked my bag. Everything was there: a rope, spray paint, a pig heart and the voodoo doll. My neighbor was

In this new universe, entropy decreased slightly with time. You could leave the dishes dirty and if you waited long enough, they'd become clean. Consequently, society had become

Crap. She's standing directly under the mistletoe. Crap. She saw me see her standing under the mistletoe. Crap. She just winked at me over her shoulder. Crap. Where's the

The Squid children rolled on the floor laughing. "That's the dumbest story you ever told! You're teasing us!" Giant Old Squid Man's eyes twinkled again."OK, let me tell you another

I took a bus for Seoul on Friday.

Smoke my Gouda!

Sometimes, as you go along in life, you come to a time when you realise that all you have achieved, all that seems to matter so much, is but a speck of dust in the immensity of

"OH YEEEEESSSS!" said the portly Comic Con fan, as he approached a hairy Princess Leah look-alike. "I've got them moob's like Jabba... you wanna touch my belly?"

Then Clarence Darrow let his suspenders crack against his chest. Like a slap against the whole courtroom. Mopped his head and screamed,"What the HELL is a "Money-Money?" I ask you

A bat can do enough friendly good however I just k

Once upon a time, there was no time. It came later, but it was late. Time marches on and waits for no man; however, for a woman, time stands still until she is ready.

The hibernation genie started the backwards lullaby. Commander Antpi relaxed. There was a long journey ahead of him through the Isolar Solar Tunnel and he needed

The three little pigs decided it was time to come out of the closet and tell everyone the truth. They'd been living as "roommates" for years but in reality they were

Daddo, Jimmy told me thaa-aat Sss-aanta (gulp) iisn't for ree-eal. Tu-tell hu-him, Dadd-o... tttu-tell him th-hat's nuh-not tu-TRUE!

I have the hardest time understanding why my one hand is an exact mirror image of my other hand. How did my right hand know what my left hand was doing?

...You are five miles from your destination. Please take "The Yellow Brick Road" at the next exit. Continue for 2 miles until you reach the "Enchanted Forest." Witch Detour Ahead.

The words had come out of her mouth in pitch-perfect bitchery. A frost settled across the breakfast table. He smiled, and closed his lap top. He picked up the scrambled

hi

They'd left the Chimp "Chortles" at the Chimpanzee rescue home in Tustin. They couldn't take care of him anymore. "Chortle's" heart shattered, rotted then turned to a vine of hate

So the Iranian president waited until the US warship was no longer in sight. Then he updated his Facebook status to say