Some goons from the Library of Congress barged

Some goons from the Library of Congress barged into my house at 3 AM this morning, even though I had never unlocked any phones. I was tempted to say I preferred the Dewey Decimal S

ystem but it wouldn't have helped the situation. The library goons grabbed my Danielle Steele and Twilight books and stormed into the kitchen to cook them up in a

super steamy story where beings with centuries of life experience choose to hang out with high school chicks & jocks. The library goons then grabbed The Brothers Karamazov & Farenh

eit 911, and found a quiet corner. The short one said to the taller one, "you know, I love curling up with a good book and a hot coffee on winter nights." The tall one glared back.

"Shuddup!" the tall one snapped and poured his hot coffee on the short one's lap. "There! Ya happy now?" "I still need a book," replied the short one. The tall one threw Mein Kampf

Parties complete with Hitler look-a-likes and pin-the-tail on Gerbels. The tall one was a sick sadist and loved authoritarian cultures. The short one just wanted to be loved.

The medium sized one was a well balanced individual with flawless skin & an affable personality. So naturally I went with the sick sadist. "Why oh why?" I asked my colour therapist

who was blasting my lower chakras with 1000 watts of orange light. "Because you refuse to come for two sessions a week," she said, "just avoid the guy." But his twisted cruelty

overfed his karma and the next day, he cracked his skull while attempting a lotus headstand. In an attempt to revive him they started fondling Buddha's stone tummy. No effect.

"You religious morons!" I yelled, as I smashed the Buddha, gave them a derogatory finger, and ran away