... ten paces, turn left at the swing-set and start digging. I cleared away the cedar chips and found a pink shoe-box that I had buried there in 1987...

... and amplifiers, iPods, cd players, and Blue-Ray players." The Radio-Shack lackey advised me. "I just want an AM/FM radio." "I'm sorry we don't carry those."

I woke up this morning filled with regret. "If only I hadn't

Everyone writes songs or poems about the eyes but the poor neglected nose receives no such attention. The nose is picked on and unappreciated for its beauty

I thought that Japan was attached to China, that Puerto Rico was a Mexican city and more ignorantly, that Scotland and Ireland were both the same island and didn't speak English.

The wind wipped up & mini marhshmellow sized hail pelted them cruely. Then the hail grew to golf ball size & they ran for shelter & for their lives. Vlad was knocked unconcious by

As I drew my last breath, Images of the horrors I had created, of the lies and deceit I had inflicted upon innocent people, flooded my mind. I had been a news anchorman for over 40

Under about 348 stacks of rice paper was one key. Little did Gabby know that it was blue, when the Aqua-Marine key that she had been told was in this location was miles away.

San José is where the ugly people live.

The CEO was an avid collector of Star Wars memorabilia & this was his prize catch. He had it installed in his office. He sat down in the Emperor's throne & paged Ms. Beazly

"What is wrong with Putin?" thought Father Tikhon of Zadonsk. "Should I send him an egg for the New Year? Yes, all things considered, perhaps I should." And so it was that

Nobody expected the superhero vigilante to be a middle aged overweight housewife but Moira the Incredible was determined to rid the city of sexual predators and serial killers.

If a go to the cinema

The Darkhelm Clan meeting had come to order. Sixteen of the most powerful wizards in the world sat around an oak table, wands concealed but always within reach. Nobody trusted

So today started off a bit unusual. It began with activated charcoal, some coffee filters and a whole bunch of alcohol. Luckily, my partner in crime (who rarely steers me in the

Mr. Henry's history class was very popular because of the period costume banquet that served as final exam. King Henry's feast featured roast pig, a jester, & a mock beheading but

Hair loss, Ha! Tell me about it. I've tried everything under the sun to get my curls back. Horse muck doesn't work, neither does applying banana skins. Today I'll try rubbing in

It was cold. Too cold. The razor winds slashed at skin, my arms and lips freezing and chapped,as I tried to find something flamable. If I was to survive, I would need fire and

Be fruitful and multiply? Bitch please. I'm gonna be fruitful and exponentiate.

Why is it always everyone else going out for awesome bike rides, swimming in the moonlit ocean, having mind blowing sex on drugs I've never even heard of, and here I am, on my