I used to go running in the mornings before work, but ever since the accident, I haven't had time for much, other than

Compensating for wind, distance, and the curvature of the earth, Earl took aim at the unsuspecting

You will need: 5 helium balloons, 3 packs of mentos, 2 bottles of fanta (grape works best) a lawn chair, a 9 iron. Mix

Monkeys like butter and banana flavored jelly beans, its hard sometimes to grab these delicacies from small children who

Among the few things I regret are that I never had a sound understanding of quantum mechanics. Spin? Location?

There's something I need to tell you. It's hard for me to say, but I must be truthful. I'm a Scottish highland dancer.

It was very early in the morning. The sun had not yet reached its zenith and I was already out of bed and getting ready

I'm a playa at heart; 'cause playahs don't part, it's an art script'n rhymes with auditory arc.

A priest, a rabbi and a yogi walk into

It was a win/lose, do or die situation. Praying to the Lottery Gods, he clenched his last five bucks with his arthritic

Before I turned 30 I had one last thing to do. When I turned onto Cottage Lane, the last person I expected to see was

It was just me and Budweiser on Green Street, waiting for the girls to show. Johnny Cash was singing about roses and

I am always amazed that when I pick my nose in public I get that look. As if it is so foreign to people. Why don't they

I had been locked in the trunk for about an hour when I heard noises outside. I had no idea where I was. Finally the

Are you looking forward to moving to London? Is it cold in the winter or is it

I always get the best fortune cookie fortunes. This one told me that I would

So, I get out of the shower and I notice this rash. I'm not positive how i got it but I'm pretty sure it was from

Humpty was good in bed. Years of ridicule have clearly fueled his need to please.

Looking around all he saw were turkeys. Six-foot tall, wild turkeys. He'd been cornered. Now, all he could do was

I just knew it! The one time I did not need any witnesses to my embarassing acts, she