I was waiting for the Minute Clinic for 4 hours. It was no big deal, I'm sure the spider was not that poisonous. It gave me time to shop for dinner. Should my hand be this swollen?

"Red Rover red rover send Rodger right over." ". . . Digby, is this your idea of a joke? The rovers stuck in the sand in Juventae Chasma. Copy?"

I gasped as I pushed back from my last rep, sweating and panting, my body slumped against the weight machine. Was this wrong? Why was a ghost like me so interested in bodybuilding?

This funny story starts with A bank teller gaining access to a time machine. He sat down and pulled the lever. **BFFFZZZGGFFGBZGZZBZZZZooooooopppP! "Oh mah GAWD!" he says.

While shopping at the market of ideas, I passed a fear monger barking his wares. "W wants your jobs, If you elect X he will take all your Y. World will end if you don't do Z"

In the world of Esperanna there lay a small boy, pocket knife in hand, staring up at the clouds. As he grabbed his glider he noticed

Since the police had me tagged as a suspect, I knew then I had to incinerate my garbage. Any phone bill, any left-over sandwich wrapper, could link me to the scene.

A shark is a large fish, and does not move hydrologically in the same way that say, an inflatable child's toy does, but I wasn't in the frame of mind to tell the difference when

I was so jealous of Tony. He had a CB radio, an RC Trans-Am, a Color TRS-80, and a portable TV which could receive UHF 'and' FM stations. All I had was pong.

I'M BATMAN! or I thought I was. My butler keeps telling me I am this Bruce guy and that I should unlock the broom closet and take my meds. My thoughts are a bit...I'M BATMAN!

It all started with a fight on New Year's Eve. Who would have thought a cup of noodles had so much power? I still have 3rd-degree burns. My phace and L bowz stil hab da bern.

The tutu really made his outfit, he thought. Why he hadn't worn them before was a mystery, but seeing the envious stares of his coworkers as he walked into Taco Bell, waving his

Ah, dear Earwig. Most misunderstood, save only our friend Cockroach. I fear you both suffer from unfortunate names. Also, that Wrath of Khan flick didn't really help the earwig out

I can't believe my best friend just found out.

She was tired of seeing me in my drunk costume. She never did have any class. She never told me her name either.

As I was riding in the U-boat there was a plane in the mist a while away but I went ahead and told the captin. The captin

Hang gliding in the nude, Frank mused, was fine in theory. But in practice it was downright chilly and the wind created an extremely uncomfortable sensation in his

Choking on foetid air, I traversed the entryway to the blasted tomb, within which a teeming brood of pestilent vermin had fed upon my forebears for millennia. I, P. H. Craftlove,

In mid-summer of the previous year I had exited my home and witnessed something unbelievable. There was a group of nearly 78 women strutting down the road. One of them hollered and

Today, I learned that my friend has been secretly a vi user his entire life. Myself being an emacs fanatic to the point of my wife leaving me with my kids, jobless, and homeless.