Hello jello, they tell me your fellow is a fine young cello sitting fist seat to the pawn and second fiddle to second trombone. Bastards! And to think that yesterday my coffee was

"ITS NOT MY FAULT!" screamed the normally sanguine Samantha as she stormed into the tent and sat down in a huff. Ok, sure, she HAD invited the entire cross-country team

"I never could bring myself to massage feet. That's why I got my first divorce." I said loudly. "What about the second?" Harold asked over the noise in the crowded bar we occupied.

I punched a hole in my makeshift dirt hovel, peering outside. Sun poured in. I breathed a sigh of relief, I had survived the night. Punching the wall out, I walked- sssSSSSSsss

A sweet and precocious girl age 7 wrote "i know how the sun shines... it's a ball of fire." in a folding story. It didn't ft and she was branded a troll. "Is there a better way?"

The inmate walked away chuckling. So there it was. In the cell for thirteen minutes and twenty four seconds and he had an appointment to suck the dick of a Skinhead named Old Maid

The bruise was big, vivid and colorful - like an oil spll in a puddle. "What is this?" "What does it look like?" Fine... "Who was it?" "Any lucky guess?"

once upon a time there was a platypus. the platypus liked tea. he was British. the British/Canadian platypus liked carrots. the end

'Twas the night before Halloween, when all through the mansion. Not a creature was stirring, not even Mr. Asp the mortician.

I'm trying this out to see how it works.

It was past noon and he had accomplished exactly nothing. While there was nothing to do, the fact that he was doing nothing disturbed him. When the doorbell range, he felt

The skis were chattering down the slopes. He tucked even tighter. The cold was killing his face. A kid on the ski lift dropped a pole and it flew right into his chest. He felt

"so, any last remarks, Bieber?" "No, Sir" The disgrace was now hanging by a thread looped around his big toe. Below him, was the Japanese volcano Sacwanjoho. "So, bieber, any idea why your here?

Barbara met Chevy at Museum coffeeshop. He was crying into his latte and Barbara asked him what was wrong. He explained the Art exhibit of abstract photomontage moved him to tears

He sat there, having been done with his business for a few minutes. The baby was crying in the hall and he needed to get to that, but damnit, this was his quality time. Being alone

List of things to do while I am bored. 1. Take out trash. 2. Go play sports. 3. Listen to some good music. 4.

I'd never heard anything like it. Like an animal making animal noises. What language could it have been? She looked eastern european, smelled mexican but tasted

Roberta had heard enough. He wanted a spicier relationship, she'd give him a spicier relationship. She decided to add some chilli to his

She made her excuses and left me 2 sleeping pills along with gaps around the house and in my heart. Now half broken and half hopeful of new new lover, careful I don't add to the

Siam's gonna be the witness to the ultimate test of cerebral fitness.