The Blond took the news of her pregnancy calmly, then as if a light had come on she perked up. "Is it mine" she asked. "No it's your mothers, your having a Sister." ."April fool"

Jim stepped off the porch, crying through his nose and coughing the shit up like it contained his regret. He'd gone to make the last payment in person, but she'd invited him in.

One boring day in English 101 class. I decieded to take a small nap, due to the lack of sleep. Right when I fell alseep the teacher,

It was one thing to read about them, another entirely to see one in person - the perfect coppery scales glinting in the hellish light from the magma pool, eyes like lasers seeking

One day, I was at my friends house and we were going to go to Walmart. We decided to run there instead of driving there, so when we were running there we saw a talking and dancing

"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned," she said. But the priest reacted unusually. "Oh, good Lord, Marie, you confessed three hours ago. What could you have done in that time?

If you look at it, I mean really look, it's obvious that it was photoshopped. That may be my head, but those aren't my hands and I've never

"What is this?" "Just take it." "I'm not kidding" "Me neither. It's a failsafe. For that kind of event, when things go pancake-shaped." "To put it mildly." Things have to be really

The money. Hell no. Where had i left it? Searching, looking, not finding. Under the mattress? No. Then i heard a car pull up outside. A door flung open with breakneck speed. It was

Chester took a second to remember. “Shut the fuck up” was all he could muster before shoving his hands into his pockets. The weather was cold and nerves always made it worse.

This is a test of the emergencey broadcast system. If this had been an actual emergency,

I heard another knock at the door. "Who is it?" I asked exasperatedly. "YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!" replied my grandma. "Third time today," I muttered as I opened the door only to find

Blue's Clues went over to the producer's leg and started humping it. It'd been a long time

He was watching the crow. That's when he noticed a little black staircase lower from its stomach. Tiny little elves were deplaning out of the crow's chest.

Ordinarily, there is more to do at the mall. With all my friends busy, I decided to visit Victoria Secret. I am enamored by the detail in the mannequins. So sexy, but this one was

Tarde al la escuela , y el hijo , se quedó con la maestra.Entonces ya eran las 20:35 y la madre , se enbobó al ver al niño. Despues de un par de semanas , llamaron a la mama.

"Hey Toby, have you been hangin' out with hookers in Missoula?", She asked him point blank.

The crazy oldman lived the rest of his life being hated, completely broke, and... in love with a pigeon... This is hell... I am in hell. I am like an electric Jesus

Peter sat down in confessional. "In my day," he thought to himself, "it took a Roman with a sword to make anybody confess." He tried peering through the wooden screen, but the

Flying Hippos of Doom have take over New York City. The military has been overun by these beasts. So I took action with