Emily Post got arrested today.

When 2+2 did not equal 4, I knew Dooper was back in town. When the cat fell and broke it's back I knew Dooper was in the house. When my toast landed butter side down I knew Dooper

The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock on the door.

He crept down into the feared basement. He felt something... Or was it his imagination? What was that!? Shivers went down his spine as he turned and saw the most frightening thing:

Jumpin' Jehosaphat clanked down the hall at midnight. J.J. was a cat with a cast in a house that was all halls. He loved this mischievousness, frightening the kids into thinking

Buzzy would never be accepted by the other bees in the hive. He found it a waste of time to fly from flower to flower everyday. Besides, he hated honey. No, he LOVED meat, even

The leave blower walked into the gated community. He'd poured a jellied-gasoline into his blower. He lit his Pall-Mall and then held the lighter under the end of the "leaf blower"

tim wants the d in his mouth all night long oh yeah give it to me

Please please please don't mention New Zealand in the following story.

Agnes clapped both potholder-clad hands to her ears. "Nonononononononononononononono!" Buster hesitated. "I guess then you don't want to?" He raised his eyebrows.

I sing a song of heartbreak, of sadness & misery too. I sing a song of all the things that make a person blue. My heart is like a daffodil, it seems so bright and happy. But when

"The Great Titted Warbler" was a flop. Duncan was crestfallen his DriveIn for Birdwatchers didn't fly. His seedy agent Hackensmoot said "Birdwatching can sell. Depends on the birds

Oh my God. I did not see that coming. If

The most difficult part of my day is waking up. And no, I don't mean getting out of bed. I mean *waking up*.

"Yo." I waved my hand in front of the girl's face. No response. Great. Here I was, stranded in the middle of nowhere, with only a pencil in my pocket and a comatose girl.

"What's with the plexiglass walls?" said Deathwish the drummer. Qaugmire explained, "We're trying to make a bold statement", but secretly he thought "Your rapid pounding is ruining

I've never been able to express myself fully. All I rely on to communicate is my charming good looks, my purrs, and occasional meows. This was one of those moments I wished I could

I'm glad I met my friend Josiah Toast. He was clearly a shaman, even though he only had supreme skills in mundane card magic. It's not just that he provided cover for the rest of

Red wine,red roses,red lipstick and a fresh layer of red paint in the bedroom walls.

In the tabletop landscape that is the Midwest there are slumbering giants. Grain Silos. The Crop Circles of Wenona were a sign. Seamus was a watcher. He dusted crops by day,