"Calories should be conserved, not wasted! Always take the elevator. Use a drive-in or have food delivered." Big Bob lowered the remote. Adi Johnson's late night infomercial

Frankîe tripped over a small customer with his clubfoot & his tablet with whole pork crashed into a chandelier & fell on the cheese trolley. The maître d' called him a dumb waiter

Dump wrasslin'. Who wants ta watch nekkid sweaty men grabbin' their thongs? An' what's this. Discus throw? That's s'posed ta be oh-riginal recipe Olympic sport? It's a Frisbee for

"We'll get a parcel of land out in Amazonas Planitia. Rumor say the land is fertile, the natives friendly." Pa hitched up our Lopers & we joined the next wagon train. The martian

A dark shadow watched Wolverina Puckeridge saunter down an alleyway in her iron heals and patented Stoatbag. Crime had plummeted in Gotham since she opened the Stoat academy

I sat there in the darkness with tears in my eyes, nothing made sense here, at least not anymore.

There was a thud in the kitchen, a sound like the muffled wail of a cat, and then silence. Martha reached for her walker & started towards the kitchen, sure that this time Fluffy

The only problem with writing Twilight fanfiction, and it's a big one, is that you have to read the Twilight books.

I slid down the zipline which was high above the sea of lava. There were creepers everywhere. There was no way out. I was trapped. I jolted awake. I was trembling with fear from

It had been hours since the rigor mortis took over, and yet still Trey's consciousness remained locked inside of his lifeless body. "Fuck." he thought to himself silently.

Personally, I thought $800 for a kid's birthday party was a little much, but Kathy said that everybody who was anybody was hiring Bip the Clown these days. $800! I wonder what

When I first met her I was appalled because she was trying to tie off the ring finger of her left hand so it would fall off. She thought it would protect her from future marriage.

She was done. After all the years of naysayers and doubt, she had finally accumulated enough abandoned scraps of cloth to sew together a life size replica of the Queen of Spain.

Arthur was surprised to see a new face at the Round Table. "Tonight I am pleased to have the company of King Arthur of Britain and several of his knights," said Charlie Rose. G

The following story is rated 'DaE' for 'Dark and Edgy'.

yes on earth that amazing place just like hevean the place that i know am never reaching so why to bother and do good stuffs while i can be bad bad and have earth here on my side

I looked over my shoulder to see where the noise, a deep throaty chuckle, came from. "Blurh," The chuckle came again. He was getting closer... Elmo. He was coming.

I was going home, suddenly in front of me stood a vampire with sharp razor teeth. In vampire's eyes i could see laser shooting out towards me, i was rooted to the ground..

The creatures in the deep blue sea are fascinating! There we can find sharks, whales and many more sea animals.

The waiter was talking to me very fast in Catalan. I said something to him in what could have been Italian which is how I ended up with a bottle of alcohol free lager. The vagaries