In the FoldingStory tabletop game, I chose my traits as Manatee (4) & Detective (3). When the herd of Spam Baby (2) advanced, I rolled my Parkourer (3) skill to wall-jump over them

It wasn't that Donga minded being naked in front of Parliament, really. It was more like there hadn't been enough time to think up a witty explanation as to why. No turning back

Harold was quite the entrepreneur. His 100% natural & organic Harold Prodder's Every Flavor Beanies were the hit of the neighborhood. Sold in packs of 2 for $3. Ingredients

One fine day in the middle of the night two dead men got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other.

Turn away, If you could get me a drink of water 'cause my lips are chapped and faded. Call my aunt Marie, help her gather all my things and bury me in all my favorite colors, my

I want to slowly damage each part of my pathetically lifeless body, savouring the sweet taste of each beautiful fragment of annihilation, in every tiny cell of my useless body.

"Whip it! Whip my Ted Nugent!" She'd called it her "Ted Nugent" ever since the carnival.

Ok, Ok—you’re probably saying, “What happened to Barbara?

Kenny Rogers and Hammerstein. I don't like show tunes but they do the "gambler" to "some enchanted evening" really out there.

I don't know about God, but the Devil is a woman for sure. How else can you explain

The I.T. Tech was thoroughly confused. The cache of 'penis', 'cheap vodka', and 'internet dating' sites was troubling. But then there were bookmarks for '.gif' and 'alphabet'. What

For most folks the fine line between creative writing and nonsensical jibberjabber is crossed right around

He drank water out of a wine glass and froze his dark chocolate. You may not think that's weird, and if so, you're weird. The really weird thing

once upon a time

Ice creaming comes across the sky

In a past life I must have been a really bad boy because in this life I'm a really good boy but only really bad things happen to me. Either that or I'm just

You may of heard of John Henry or Paul Bunyan, but the greatest folk hero of 'em all was ol' J. Manatee, P.I. He dun conquered the mid-west with his intense percepshuns. One time,

"Finally! With this atom powered invention no one will ever burn their tongue or the roof of their mouth on hot pizza again!" Exclaimed the scientist.

The lazy eye roamed around the room as if it had a mind of its own. Perhaps it did. It had always had an odd habit of calling attention to the most unusual element in a room

Their marriage was over before they'd even met.