In a past life I must have been a really

In a past life I must have been a really bad boy because in this life I'm a really good boy but only really bad things happen to me. Either that or I'm just

totally confused by an over idealized idea of myself, mixed with an over dominant mother and an irrationally deep seated belief that I can pull myself up by my own boot straps. I a

te nails for breakfast and drank motor oil instead of whiskey, because I was completely convinced my stomach could digest such things with ease. I never looked before I crossed the

road, as I presumed, as most things did, the cars would bounce off me. I thought about this as I had my lunch, a child's bicycle I had found abandoned on the highway. When

lunch was over I looked over my agenda on my iPad. Should I crash through the power grid or use my radioactive breath on the CN tower? I picked myself off the overpass and trudged

fast that my legs become powerless. When I glimpsed the tower is now at hand, took a deep breath and

removed an askew block. The Jenga tower shook but remained upright. "I'd like to call a trainer," I told the chair umpire, who rolled his eyes. The Jenga tourney was cramping me up

so i took a muscle relaxer to help me uncramp my hand. The umpire told me I could call a trainer only after my current turn. I reached towards the tower and tried to pull a block

out but...disaster struck & the whole damn thing came tumbling down. Dead silence in the room. "I...I..." I stuttered, but then thought the better of it. "I'm NOT SORRY! I screamed

and brought it all down!" I screamed. "What you people get up to should be abolished, not for what it is, but for the way in which you do it!" I fled the scene before knowing what.