'If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me,' he crooned into the mike. Sheila's cheeks burned cos she knew the song was meant for her. She started to

Today marks another day when I awoke alive. Will I ever awake not alive or in death will I never sleep. Thes questions annoy me every damn morning. Am I mad? No I'm actually quite

President Sarcozy leaned over the balcony, wondering whether it would hurt to much to jump down. He was a weak man, for someone running France, and couldn't stand pain.

The highschool reunion was his final opportunity to reject Carmen. He wanted her to be attracted to him and then diss her in front of everyone. The only problem was he was fat and

He pulled out a joint. It was fat and gnarled like a parsnip. Michelle's eye brows arched in appreciation. Biden smirked, "Got this from Pelosi. She said it's from Castro's own

24 hours in a day. 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

This saga begins with a little man living in a cave. One day, the little man woke up to the sound of a bear sniffing his pants that were hanging from a rock a few feet away. Scared

The clock's intention's were pure. He had merely accelerated his hands as a kind of gear workout. But in doing so, he inadvertently fast-forwarded everyone's lives. Luckily, TiVo

This one time at band camp

Un dia un extraño forastero hiba paseando por el campo cuando de rrepente escucha un tiro. Ba corriendo para ver que pasa y escucha otro tiro, entonces se dio cuenta que habia caza

Through a freak of nature a wormhole materialized just at exit point of the radioactive leak from the plant which connected to Rev. Jones bathtub.

"You said we'd be gone only a few minutes!" I shouted to the TARDIS. He's gone, I'm here and must again face the world. My folds have gone stale, my fans all dead. I fear that

"A New Hampshire police sergeant was fired for using funds from his department's uniform account to purchase Ugg slippers as a

As the water from the rain poured into the sewer, a man climbed down a manhole completely smashed from tequila and vodka. Due to his drunken state, he did not realize that he was

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The longer I looked at it, the bigger it seemed to get. I tried to look away, but couldn't for at least half a minute. Then I looked again. It moved. It seemed to stretch, but I

A cold feeling of shock gripped me as I stared at the splintered, shattered wood of my front door.

Pssst, hey. Yeah. Yeah, you. You wanna get loco? Try this: shave the inside of 2 bananas and dry it for 3 days. Then get some bufotoxin from a psychoactive toad's back warts and

The spider landed on the fat lump in the back of her neck. It sunk it's fangs into her flesh. The smell of porkchops wafted into the air and the spider

I followed the hot chick for two blocks and finally got up the nerve to ask her out when she entered a biker bar. I hesitated and then entered. Everyone turned to stare