When grandma hobbled up to me she put her hands out for a hug and then I sweeped her cane with my judo kick and grabbed her titanium white hair and smashed her head against

No one thinks I am smart but they are wrong. They just see a guy behind the video rental counter and think, dropout. But I am smart. And I know all their little foibles and

The steak lay quietly in its styrofoam tray, tightly wrapped in plastic, tormented by nightmares. It could neither scream nor thrash nor even shudder at its horrific dreams. No one

Standing atop the desert plateau, I peered through my scope and casually picked a target. No one in particular just some

My, the apples on the ground are much more soft than the apples on the trees. Look at the size

We would have made it onto the last ship to leave, but she said she had to pee. Now, we were marooned on the island as the

"Dance!" the captain demanded. Two

She stretched out blissfully in her hammock, the weight of the day not yet landed. The neighbor's dog, on the other hand, snout thrust through the fence, barked incessantly at her.

Madonna had taken to wearing blue shawls and an angelic expression. She had reclaimed her virginity like the first Elizabeth. Suddenly chaste was in Vogue.

Nowadays everybody wanna talk, like they got something to say. But nothin' comes out when they move their lips! Just a bunch of jibberish. Motha****as act like they forgot about

I am always amazed that when I pick my nose in public I get that look. As if it is so foreign to people. Why don't they

In an attempt to improve his writing, he rereads the folds he has contributed to. But he realizes with horror that the word "but" was overused in many of them, but being hard on hi

I forever remembered the sight of

There was once a little girl, aged 5. She was always wanting to spend time with her mother and one day her mother decided she would move away and leave the girl with her nan

The crystal clear blue sky shinned bright against the silver and gold sparkling Pacific Ocean water

She sat there in her office chair, elbow on the desk, head resting in her hand thinking. Thinking about what had caused her to react so strongly to his remark. He had only said

He sat slouched in the sofa with 1/2 a dozen cigarette butts ashed out on the coffee table not quite making it to the ashtray. An open bottle of bourbon with the cap lost in the

Her penetrating stare bored into my brain. What the hell had I screwed up now. It wasn't Her birthday or our anniversary. It's June dammit what holiday did I mis? "What?" I ask

How do you solve a problem like Maria? You flay her because when a girl goes roaming with a rusted soul the corruption will only spread right up until the world whimpers out like a

last night i was at a party, i can not remember what happened, i woke up with a shark in the bath, my girl friend hanging from her thongs out the window......