I got 399 freakin' points!!!!!!!

Staring at the screen you realize that there must be some kind of FoldingStory conspiracy going on. How does story stay relevent and funny? Then that red head FBI agent walks into

You know how some people will tell you it's better to look back and say 'I can't believe I did that', rather than 'I wish I had'? Well, I'm guessing those people have never

Quorn

While working on cybernetic Ultraman underwear in his old lab an explosion fused the underwear to his skin, along with a bats wings. Prof. Fugu used his time vortex watch to try to

With chisel and hammer and long hours worked till dawn. Blood encrusted fingers which ooze slowly down. Eyes that pop and hands that seize with both tongue and lips gripping

In the horror film Spork the main character is chained to a metal pipe. A voice tells the character that if he spoons or forks his leg off he will be set free

"What about a pop-up book?" "She's an adult. Folded up pieces of paper. That's kids stuff." The clerk lowered his voice. "I'm talking about adult pop-up books." He slowly opened a

I dried off and wrapped the towel around my waist. Entering my bedroom, I dropped the towel and glanced up to see my wife's friend standing there. We held eye contact for a full 5

"What if when we die, the light at the end of the tunnel is just another pediatricians office?"

"Teines! Teines Pomme!" The orange said with glee. "why the heck are you speaking French, orange?" "Couteau!" He responded. "I have no idea what... AHHHHHHHHH" he screamed as the

"An exponent is a small number (boobs) written at the top right (sex) corner of a number (thighs rub together) that tells you to multiply (nipples) as many times ... Johnny? Would

I lay on my back in the tall grass & looked up at the blue sky. The fluffy white cloud above me resembled my grandpa eating an ice cream cone. A tear slid down the corner of my eye

For once in his life, my lecturer at university was actually talking sense. He said, "What if the cure for cancer is trapped inside the mind of someone who can't afford education?"

Humanity is forgetting the fear on the dark, & the curiosity to overcome that fear, a dangerous complacency. It's time to make bolder steps outward, away from creature comforts

The flight attendant came along on her Velcro shoes. "Peanuts or almonds, Mr. Whitman?" She noticed his six-shooters. "TBH, ma'am, I could go for a breakfast burrito and a liter of

The wily Baker in New Endow hit upon a clever scheme to increase his wealth. For certain Ladies-in-Waiting he kneaded a special dough sprinkled with dill. It rose to stately size

Ah, dear Earwig. Most misunderstood, save only our friend Cockroach. I fear you both suffer from unfortunate names. Also, that Wrath of Khan flick didn't really help the earwig out

"Ahh, nothing like a breath of fresh water to calm the nerves," said Dean Charles, who had ditched his smoke-filled lungs for carp gills. He looked dashing in his salmon suit

I saw the sun rising. It was shining. I stopped and saw the sun rising. Rising and shining. The sun was rising. So bright so shining.