The soft pecking that used to be such a comfort was now an annoyance. It sounded like a jackhammer piercing the concrete. It's always the same thing! Peck peck peck. EVERY-DARN-DAY

Sickly yellow clouds coated the dawn sky and this combined with the sulfurous stench of the shallow pools made me want to retch. How could this be? All I did was push one little

"Double double, toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble." These words I chanted as I stirred the cauldron filled with a green, bubbling & delicious smelling potion. It was

Tapping away at her terminal, Lucy the receptionist looked up to see a well-dressed hobo stroll in through the revolving metro door. She knew he was a hobo though because

It was a fateful meeting on the night of December 18th, 1949. Ralph Johnson knew that it was only a matter of time before the events of earlier year would come back to haunt him.

Se despertó pero no podía abrir los ojos. Sabía que había alguien ahí y...

I heard loud footsteps thudding through the bushes, much to big to be human. "RAWR!!!" A loud roar rang out and I saw a lizard-like head pop out from between the trees. "HAI!" It

A thousand years of war. A thousand of solitude. Immortality had exacted its price

A shortnecked giraffe, a spotless leopard, and a human with no opposable thumbs walk into a casino. They sit down for a round of Black Jackal. The dealer, a Cheetah

The Director feels like you should be more patriotic in conducting your business. The Director wants to remind you that all of your Citizen's privileges are only one red mark from

Maria was into punk-rock,tattos and body piercing.Despite that,one day she went to the Circus,and when she laid eyes on a clown,she fell for his style.She went shopping ride away!

Walking down the school hallway, he saw Bob the Bully running at him full speed, probably ready to knock him over. "Look man, I'm sorry I slept with Jane, I left my wallet at her

Dear Abby, I am writing to ask about my husband's fetish. He likes to have me put on heels and a chimp mask, and call him Cornelius. What does it mean? Sincerely, LessThanZira

I am out of my mind. It's alright though. I hear this voice. It tells me how to behave to avoid my madness from drawing attention. Now I suspect it is setting me up.

well he'd finally done it. Even he had to acknowledge his genius. Mario Batali had made a full leisure suit out of prosciutto. He regally dressed as

Futon Kitty thanked Professor X for the visit. Futon Kitty had much to consider regarding the X-Men and the Avengers and the so-called "War Against Relaxation". But when Pernito

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Don said, "Listen Phil, here's the pitch. We go around buy up all the crap at the goodwill and then open a store and call it BigLOTS and resell the crap there." Phil blinked and

Chloe got in the car and sighed. She hated when anyone else used her car, but I brought her some coffee which is Seattle-ese for “I love you”. Chloe had the worst driving record

As I descended into anesthesia, the surgeon asked, "Paper or plastic?" "Paper," I dreamily replied. My rhinoplasty was performed without a hiccup, but I awoke to a paper nose and