"Teines! Teines Pomme!" The orange said with glee. "why the heck are you speaking French, orange?" "Couteau!" He responded. "I have no idea what... AHHHHHHHHH" he screamed as the

77 conjoined fighting fish, each a master in their own fish martial art, circled each other warily as the Colosseum slowly filled with water.

I returned home, that cold October day. I couldn't tell you where I'd been, or what I'd done. Or even what I'd seen. Not because I couldn't remember, but because I

Two interviews down, 423 to go. Starting a company as a multi-trilionaire was much easier than the scrappy mess he started in his garage 23 years ago. This time, he vowed,

So I was walking out of school one day and I tripped down the stairs. It was probably the most embarrasing thing I've ever done. As I was lifting myself up off the ground

To his great surprise, Alan found himself fading away. After a few beers he had often wondered what lay beyond the grave, now he was going to find out. He closed his eyes and

"Supreme Being" read the black T-shirt stretched over his belly. He wore thick-rimmed black glasses and gesticulated wildly with a piece of overcooked steak on the end of his fork

'What do you call an intelligent, good-looking, sensitive man?' he asked. 'A rumor' she said with a smirk. Nathan didn't find it funny though. In fact he was annoyed at the remark.

If my Great Uncle Wilfred had not died in 1919 of the Spanish Flu in London, he would have lived his life as

Benita's eyes stopped. "I like my women looks I like my salsa: THICK and CHUNKY" the personal ad read. That's how the whole thing started. They met at Aunt Chilada' s Easy Cafe on

A horrible buzzing noise punctuated the morning routine of ripping through the flesh of her latest kill. A mosquito had caught the scent. The female Tyrannosaurus slowly rose and

Linus waited in the pumpkin patch for the Great pumpkin. This year it came and when it saw Linus it

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spagghetti! He's nervous, but

Gladys was 85 when Miss Dinnerman, a tortoise, arrived in the yard and are her bouguets like they were deliveries from Pizza Hut. "It is so cuthe to watch Miss Dinnerman as she

Today, I learned that my friend has been secretly a vi user his entire life. Myself being an emacs fanatic to the point of my wife leaving me with my kids, jobless, and homeless.

There was no way I was going to that cemetery today, not if you paid me a million bucks.

"Ahh, nothing like a breath of fresh water to calm the nerves," said Dean Charles, who had ditched his smoke-filled lungs for carp gills. He looked dashing in his salmon suit

They say that in your darkest moments, when all is lost... Something keeps you going, pushes you up no matter how many times you fall. They were right. I just wish they weren't.

She was dazzled when she looked up. She had finally returned to Foldtopia, and oh, how it had changed. The Foldtopians had many new stories, and many of her own were now finished,

He popped the cork on the champagne and shouted "Happy New Year!" With fizzy wine spewing out of the bottle he looked around for a kiss. That's when he realized that it was 12pm.