He slid the chair aside and she looked up from the menu. Her eyes flashed something he couldn't catch and she handed him a menu with a smile. "Are you aware that you're 37 seconds

The chopsticks were dangling from her dead fingers, still coated in deliciously crispy Chang's Spicy Chicken with a light glaze of arsenic sauce. Food critics weren't often

The Brain had learned to be ready at the front gate to avoid embarrassment so when he was standing there with his laptop backpack on his shoulder, everyone except Rhia was relieved

When you've just murdered 10 people, you'd think you'd feel at least a few pangs of guilt. But all I could think of was a nice, hot shower to wash the blood off.

Once there was a girl who wanted so bad to become an amazing athlete that she did everything that she could to become great. One day she got the opportunity to go to a great camp..

Storm clouds drifted across his bedroom floor. It'd be an awful night & he could hear harps foretelling. The violins stabbed at the air. Whatever nightmare awoke him wasn't over.

Shoes shoes shoes as far as the eye could see. She had longed for a shoe storage system but now she had one she realised her life was complete and the future was now uncertain. In

I'm waking up covered in white powder. Oh god is that what I think it is? Worst Columbus day party ever!

Miral opened her closet to a dead body falling out. She screamed, and turned the body around, and realized it was

"The thing about controlling men is that they're not afraid of commitment. If anything they're over-committed," said Amy. "Is Reg still not letting you wear knickers?" asked Lise w

Starbucks was crowded with folks sucking down overpriced decaf lowfat latte somethings as they met for the first time. He recognized her instantly. She was dressed as a cow and

"God no, don't, you'll kill yourself," my bawling wife implored as she pulled at my robe sleeve. I batted her arms away. "Stand aside, woman! I am going to submit 100 folds today

The rat-a-tat-tat...rat-a-tat-tat...rat-a-tat-tat... had been bothering her all night. Why wouldn't they leave her be? The stench from her bedroom is reason enough to kill a man.

The tinkle of the shop bell, the kindly shop keeper, the open barrels of meat, I remember the old gizzard store like it was yesterday.

I had a leftover chicken leg and some knockoff Sriracha sauce. He had ham and cheese with the crusts cut off, chips and apple juice. I said "Trade?"

12 ways to admit you are wrong: 1) slather your lips with the deepest red lipstick and kiss the mirror writing "I'm sorry" with the mascara 2) fall on the floor moaning in grief

Why do we understand humor? I suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life. I can’t tell if that’s funny or really scary.

If everything that is possible must in turn have been possible to be possible, then that which is impossible must likewise be possible to be impossible, and thus all things are pos

On St. Patrick's Day, I dressed like Lucky's kid and sprouted a red beard. In front of the Aragon Ballroom, there was a cow on parade who stopped to say hello. My red Airwalk

"Iä Iä Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph´nglui mglw´nafh Cthulhu R´lyeh wgah´nagl fhtagn!" said the Cthulhu Cult Priest with the tentacular mask. "Iä Iä Cthulhu fhtagn!" repeated the cultists.