Sheila's face became somber and she hugged tight a tiny ‘Elmo’ who started shaking and giggling like a schizophrenic epileptic. It was apparent who wore the pants in his family.

Quiet! Quiet I whispered a loud a as could to myself. My tendinitis was screaming at me and would not obey. The click clack clunk as I cocked the pistol was all but inaudible to me

George Washington was a general in the Revolutionary War and later became the first U.S president.

"Who the hell wears a fedora in church?" she said. "Does he think we're going to encounter a sword wielding Arabian Nazi sympathizer in Bethesda?" I jumped up and donned my turban

All that anybody could talk about was the huge amount of blood, but there was a lot more to this story about a crack deal gone awry than anybody really knew. For one thing, Henry

The note read, "This is a fake stickup to test security. Put all the money in a bag and nothing funny." I bit my tongue

Dean Ackerman was head pollster for the Republicans. He's seen monsters but not like this. This was Caligula all over again. He wanted the numbers. So Dean lied and told him that

She pulled out the credit card. "Ma'am, the bill is over a million dollars, there is no credit card that can handle that," the agent said. "Run it, sonny." This was no ordinary

Jared Manatee woke up on Friday into a developing nightmare. He couldn't remember the day before or even his earlier life. He had ID and credit cards, but they were invalid. What

Jim hesitated and then dropped the cigarette into the toilet. He tested his voice for a moment to make sure the nerves weren't cracking it. "Ahem". No good, he was broken.

I came home after getting groceries last night and there was a seraph with a flaming sword guarding my apartment door. No matter which way I turned, I could not enter. Unsure of

"Inges Inngh's Inn in IN." "Hello, Helga Helgesen here. Has Helfritz Helgesen had his Hops?

She loved being in love. She loved it so much that she prepared for Valentine's Day ten years in advance. She didn't have a boyfriend yet but that didn't matter because she knew

d a n k

They were an annoying lot and moved slow as tortoises. The PUN-ters, as they were cawled, wore their turtleneck uniforms, even when the heat was enough to make anyone snap.

I was only here for corn chips, but here I was, frozen in the aisle, because a (devastatingly handsome) staff member had walked into the same aisle, freestyle rapping about

"What have you done?"she said looking at me like as if I were an alien."What?",I asked feeling hurt by her reaction."Why can't I just seat here and enjoy a

"Sure, I've heard of spontaneous combustion...but an entire 3rd grade class?" Detective James Manatee said, looking down as the dozens of pairs of child size sneakers and piles of

The halls of Dis were dark. The black lamps burnt dark blue darkening the gloom.

If there's one thing I can't stand about 'Cranky Dave', it's the way that as soon as you've finished eating, he always, and I mean ALWAYS