As I ground on her lap I wondered what I'd eat for breakfast when I got home. Maybe eggs. I got up & shook it in her face. Her friends screamed & rained dead presidents down on us.

As the fire breathing dragon sneered down at her with a twinkle in the eye, Roberta thought to herself "Crap, I knew I should have turned right" She

The old floorboards creaked under his considerable weight. Grumbling and muttering under his breath about the

While Julie was walking down the street, an alien ship appeared. She screamed and ran toward home. The alien creatures chased her. Just as she was opening her door, one of them

Dreams are funny things. I usually dont like them. But then I began to dream of her. Her with me. Her body close too me. Her breathe smelling of roses. it was all so real.

Rumpelstiltskin had reformed. With plenty of therapy, he no longer craved gold and other people's children. He was now married to one of the seven dwarves' sister, and they lived

My name is Nicole Starmen I was at starbucks ordering my drink but realize I had left my wallet at home. I heard a huskey british voice that sounded like Harry Styles.

As he  had done so many times before, perhaps 10 or 12 times now, the mastermind watched Alice rest peacefully in her hammock. He could count the mistakes he'd made on one hand and

"RUN!" she shrieked as the creature exploded upward in a cloud of blood and tentacles and serrated teeth. It was far too powerful. If they died it would be her fault, regardless of

Santa is Satan, dontcha know. Think about it. Both wear red. Both like horned animals. Both enjoy extreme temperatures. And both want to be the center of attention at Xmas.

Can I take the rest of the day off? "Saturday in the Park" by Chicago is stuck in my head. Seriously...

Jane was sensible. She knew that living a structured life brought stability, and that comforted her. Every morning she

Julie had just taken a sip of kool-aid when she happened to look down and discover a large, black roach floating against the edge of the glass. It's little legs scurrying.

In the beginning there was a void and someone shouted out, "Let there be Spam!" So there was and it was good. At least it was when the meat jelly was scraped off. Joe put down his

If I do well on my exam,

I am crazy!

Now I've been called a crook, a killer, a thug, a no-good dealer of drugs. But I'm really just the one who put the satin on your panties. Most people don't know my real name

I owned an angry computer. It always automatically added curse words to my instant message text, whoever I was sending it to. Alas, I could not afford anything else.

"You're a wealthy man now, aren't you Nate?" Asked Sheila, "What do you do with all your money?". Nate said, "Carrots."

Needless to say, my mind was not exactly focused on the