Welcome...welcome to my meat wall.

When I told my grandpa that "Baby It's Cold Outside" is actually a song about date rape, he flipped his lid and told me I needed to stop ca-noodling with my tree-hugging friends.

She heard steps coming down the hall to her bedroom. The door creaked open and she saw the boots. Nancy Sinatra's warning rang wildly through her her mind.

Perry,the parrot -- even he thought it was too obvious,but...-- was changing feathers so Marcia made him

Once upon a time there was this girl. This girls name was Hailey. Hailey had blonde hair and blue eyes. She was an average height of 5'7 and quite athletic. Hailey's favorite sport

The player with the least amount of respect goes first, draws one card from the pile, places it in the hand of the player to his/her left. That player then must roll the die.

once there was a cat

Voyage

Is it me or is Andy Rooney's face really really really red. Like boiled Dungeness Crabs. Crabs with grey wool coming out of them. I don't even think that is his office.

So there was Green Lantern and REI trying to buy

Jherek Manatee rechecked Schiaparelli's map, entered the coordinates of the fabled crystal city, raised the magnetic shields of his reentry shuttle and buckled himself in for

A little bird with bright red feathers flew by me erratically. I held up my hand & it landed on my palm. It burst into flames leaving a little pile of golden ash. I ate the ash.

A half-empty tin of Spongebob Squarepants Band-Aids and the lingering scent perfume were all that were left of her. Just a few moments earlier

The marzipan animals on the young boy's birthday cake came to life that night.

Picard glared at Number One. How could he forget to stock up on little wrapped bathroom soaps at Starbase 17? Crew morale depended on those! And they couldn't use the tea dispenser

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder." My stepfather's mom was known to pronounce that old chestnut at the drop of a hat. But as a kid, I always thought she said "abcess," since

I had lips like Jagger, but I didn't have

Then Cobra Commander slammed his fist on the desk, rattling the computer bank. "If I see one more person write "Yay." on Facebook, I will melt the world's children!" He'd

This was not what Rome. This was not Greece. This was not even Imperial China! This was not even possibly the outer reaches of the Khan's Mongol Empire!! .... This was the realm of

She planted the seed that had come from the dusty packet in the back of the greenhouse. For weeks, nothing, then, one day, a sprout appeared, ghastly green, glowing with an unholy