"Oklahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the plain. And the wavin' wheat can sure smell sweet. When the wind comes right behind the rain." When the wind comes right behi

Dave was back on Earth hosting a morning talk show with the Monolith. Just before going live, Dave said, "Hey, M, maybe turn sideways and check your ratio?" M looked at Dave.

The electric monk pushed his way onto the platform. It was of vital importance to his mission that he made it aboard this train. Just as the doors began closing, he managed to stic

I have a theory that three-year olds have a faster time frame of reference. In the two minutes it has taken for me to get her a glass of water,

"Forty miles as the crow flies, my back paw!" thought Melville. The crow in question meandered from one empty corn field to the next. How was a mouse supposed to visit his brother

Cramer slumped in the corner at the holiday party.He was shy, awkward, didn't know how to talk to women. He was also quite homely. But when he stood, unaware, beneath the mistletoe

God asked Dr.Dolittle to gather all the unlikely creatures in a 2nd ark. If he was going to fool scientists with the evolution yarn, the pushme-pullyu, one-eyed purple people eater

Yesterday I killed a cockroach, had never felt so bad with myself since I became a Jainist. I felt my world crash, when I realized with horror what the slime under my shoe was

This story is not about Hamlet, but about slow-adult cousin Omelette. Long before the famed-skullduggery, Hamlet was put in charge in Omelette. They traveled around

There is one person who always ruins every family event. In my family, I am that person: my name is Joseph Brener -- Black Sheep of the Brener Clan and Middle Son of thirteen kids.

One smart fella and he felt smart. Two smart fellas and they felt smart. Three smart fellas and they all felt smart.

The white car fiercely driven by Rudy approached the wall dangerously close to the rail and when a shiny flame caught his vision he stop on a

What happened to Cowboy TV?

Nortessa and Jang surveyed the poor young Earth through the aumbrous visibulbs of their temposhiff. "Not yet, my dear. They *are* trying. Some of them, many of them anyway," said J

Anne,the ant and Greg,the grasshopper made a cute couple,but conception was a problem.He vowed to take care of the kids while she worked and she was OK with reversed parts but

The circles covered the entire football field in multi-colored rows. 500 people gathered together. The mighty spinner twisted. A thunder over the speakers, "LEFT FOOT ON RED!"

The night before he'd crushed up thousands of ecstasy tablets and put them in the sugar dispenser. As he gave people their Venti's he watched them load up on

My girlfriend loves chocolate, so I thought what better present? I had myself delivered to her apartment in a large box with a sash, encased in a life-sized chocolate Santa Claus.

And then he appeared. Patrick Swayze. His angel wings flapped from his temples. I tried to speak but he held up his finger. Shirtless. He said, "Now I've had, the time of my

After a few drinks Mr Ego thought he was the hottest man at the nightclub. Every lady he approached didn't seem interested in his moves so Mr Ego drank more alcohol and thought