"Edenopteran keithcrooki, boned fish, inhabited shallow shores of Godwana." Greg looked at the sleek high domed skull and 4 cm fangs. "That's no boned fish. It's the Alien."

Why mercy me! Says right here I just won the $14 million dollar Nigerian lottery! Says it right here, see? Alls I gotta do it call this here number & give 'em my bank account num

"One English muffin,coming right up!" the waitress jotted it down."Now what do you want on it? Jelly,Jam, Marmalade,Honey,Sorgum,Syrup,Vegamite,Nutella,Butter,Oleo, or Margarine?"

"It's chlorophyll," he declared, pointing at a glass of greenish liquid on the table, "The fountain of youth!" I eyed him suspiciously. "So you're a plant vampire then," I replied.

Sorry. I'm late - I was busy being groped at the airport. I gotta tell you, that's the first time I let another guy touch my junk when I couldn't blame it on too many beers.

I looked fearfully at the small woods bordering his home and at the finger of dark water that jutted out of the overgrowth and barely touched

In the offices of the Allen County Highway Department, Construction Manager Michelle Schmidt was sitting at her desk looking at site photos and engineering schematics and various

The carrion birds fought halfheartedly for the barely edible flesh of Ronald Stedman. He'd been mostly chemicals and electrolytes swirling through a barely human body for years.

Flipping through the channels he froze on UHF. He saw himself sitting there on the tv. His couch was on tv. His living room was on tv. He lifted the remote and

40 years underground with only IV feeding had made any taste seem special. In fact he was pretty sure the only reason he gotten any dates was for his man-made "protein shakes".

She cackled over the screams of the children. She wasn't accustomed to cackling, but it was all she could do not to piss herself every time one begged for help. Standardized tests

This morning when I dropped a deuce in the bowl I could smell our sex from last night. The yeasty moistness that your snapper gummed on my bumpy pole really made me

Carl had been working for his boss for twenty years. He'd worked his way up from coal miner to vice president of operations. Then his boss' son fumbled into the company and took

The cobbled together the last pieces from the magazine article. The whole thing looked like a soccer ball. He pulled off one octagon and put in the plutonium, slowly, then attached

I was in my room, thinking that if the world im in is just a dream. I recently watched inception and thought that if i try to kill myself i could wake up but knew that this would b

Gregor's family did not mourn his passing. The next morning, however, they, too had transformed into giant beetles.

somnambulism, he looked at the word again, it was hard to read in the dim torchlight, what did it mean, was it even a word, the harder he looked at it the weirder it looked on the

She sat down and cracked her fingers. Their tips fell silently, gently over the keys. She could hear the music before she ever began to play. Her fingers arched, and attacked

i was almost done presenting my project on nuclear warheads when suddenly everybody started to laugh evily. i was holding a REAL, LIVE, one. someone had replaced my model with a

The soft fuzziness of her golden brown mohair jumper filled my every thought. The richness of her silver-gold tresses invaded my dreams. The smile of her eyes made me